Showing posts from November, 2007

Stealth III

Stealth III

I've discussed with several Post-Op transsexuals all the elements involved in becoming stealth after the physical & legal changes are complete. Finally their psyche, body and soul are synchronized and there is nothing to halt them from living as they felt they should have been born. Most I have talked to want to be stealth in terms of never having to disclose their past. They want to engage in a relationship in which everything goes pretty much as if they were born in a female body. Therefore, they seek for a relationship with a man. Naturally a few prefer to relate to a woman & in my view that offers better possibilities. A relationship with a man differs. Pregnancy is one factor as most men would like to have a child with the woman they love. Then she must disclose the reasons why she cannot bear a child or make a believable story, not a good scenario.

From Wikipedia: Deception is the act of convincing another to believe information that is not true.

Deception i…

Happy Holidays

Okay, some silliness for the holidays. ElfYouself!!

Stealth II

Stealth?... II

Last week I began to explain my views about the elements involved with perspectives about the transgender mindset and going stealth, but due to space I wasn't able to cover a lot of things. Among the principal reasons to aspire to achieve such invisible state is a parting of ways with things in Transgendered World. Many XG people find a tremendous impact when discovering they are not alone as there are thousands of people around the globe that face the syndromes of being out of the gender identification mainstream box.

History started to change for all of us in the early 90s as the internet was a true breakthrough that provided a resource for the transgender population as well as the general viewing public, courageous XG people had a portal in expression, achievements, goals, history, sufferings and pictures. Our once tiny world started growing while providing an illusionary feel of belonging & state of normalcy.

There was however negative connotations that were br…

Your friendship.

After digging through tons of CDs, floppies, Dat tapes, etc, I finally found one of the many poems I've written a few years ago to my feminine side. Something I did for about 10 years and very far from the place I am today.

I had no idea I would be getting to the place I live in today! Yet, after reading this one, no wonder.

This is more than a poem, a letter I wrote to myself in the same fashion I used on my poetry. It looks like I am writing to someone else. Actually, I was. I was addressing my feelings to that unsupported, no comprehended and vital part of myself. In the same fashion we refer to her, when we are her and to him, when we are him, I wrote from one to the other one.

To me such process is exactly the same when I write a letter to someone I can't really stell what I have to say. I write the letter, never send it and burn it as a ceremonial letting go of the person or the issue.

Again, when I wrote all those, I had no idea that one day I would really mean what I felt.…

Fault Lines

Recently I've crystallized some thoughts that I had been knocking about for a while concerning the sometimes less than cordial relationships between the transsexual, transgendered and ambigendered (OK, use crossdresser or another term if you prefer) segments of our community. It seems we ought to be able to get along pretty well given that we share the common bond of a desire to express a gender identity contrary to our biological sex—and society's general rejection of the same. Yet there is often tension between these various groups. Why?
I think the real dividing line in our community is the desire to transition. The transsexual and the transgendered (in the original sense of the word, those who desire to live as the opposite gender) are on one side and the "part-timers" (CDs, TVs, fetishists, etc.—we're not as clearly defined and labeled) on the other. And while we are often allies, we exist in a tenuous relationship with one another. My view of the tensi…

Stealth I

I've thought so much about the "stealth state" that most post-op sisters adopt once achieving their goal. These thoughts of mine have been ongoing since 2002 when I started corresponding with a local young TS woman. I contacted her due to my interest to meet other gender crossing (XG) people near me. She accepted my interest right away and with time she started expressing her confidence while developing trust in me. We finally met at the end of 2003 as she was moving away to achieve "Stealth" status.

Early 20's pretty young gal, that was very confused and angry about living as a male, when she always felt to be a woman. As we were starting our friendship, she had already achieved some cornerstones, such as coming out to family members and selected friends and had began hormone replacement therapy (HRT). At work, she was the boy as she was born, though as time progressed became quite androgynous and quite passable with her own long hair, arched brows, wonder…

And Now What?

“You cannot step in the same river twice” is an expression of the experience of having “been there, done that”.

So you can dress to the nines, go to the gay and transgendered clubs and be constantly complimented, ogled, and hit on by guys and masculine cross-dressers. So most of your transgendered friends cannot pass well enough to go to mainstream public places, and even those that could, choose to go to the same blasé, gay, transgender-friendly, safe clubs. And some of those who don’t pass go to straight places anyways, and don’t mind being mistaken for drag queens and being instant celebrities whom everyone wants to have their pictures taken with. So you pass on this option. And now what?

So you can dress as an attractive female, go alone to the mall and the straight clubs, fly under the radar, and still be complimented, ogled, and hit on by guys (albeit fewer times). But you don’t dare to interact much because of the fear of discovery of your true identity and the peril that might f…