Showing posts from October, 2006

The Rainbow Between

A dear transgender friend confided in me about steps she is taking to become more feminine in appearance, including a planned first visit to the doctor to inquire about hormone therapy. She asked my opinion whether it's ok to be on female hormones without knowing for sure whether to live full time as a woman. Here's what I told her, plus a bit more...

While no one but you can say what's right for you, I think being true to yourself is step #1. Not everyone else will agree with your decisions, yet you are the only person who must live within your skin, so you are the only person who can decide what makes you happy. Don't let anyone tell you this is selfish, because it's not. Once you are happy within yourself, you will overflow with positive energy which benefits everyone else around you. As the happiest person you can be, you will bring forth joy and harmony to others.

My opinion is that gender is not binary, not just male OR female. The rainbow in-between the two g…

Victims Or Villains?

(Reprinted from

Too many times the TG community gets dumped on. Whether it is by an internally frustrated homophobic alpha male, a catty gay man, a mean spirited Lesbian woman or just a clueless tourist, the community does endure more than it’s share of crap. But, are we perpetual victims? Do we need to be?

This past September there was quite an incident at East of Eighth, a neighborhood bar & restaurant at 254 West 23rd Street in New York City. I know the place quite well. I used to co/own, promote and host a trans-party there once a month. We would convert the upstairs restaurant into a trans-party that usually drew between 100 – 160 people on the 2nd Saturday of each month. The party often spilled into the down stairs bar where Jack was pouring drinks, and it was a great time.

My friends and I would go to the downstairs bar every week, usually Friday and/or Saturday to start off our evening, before heading into the night for clubs unknown. We liked the staff…

Consulting Heart And Mind

Making Choices From A Place Of Balance

Each of the myriad decisions we make every day has the potential to have a deep impact on our lives. Some choices touch us to our very cores, awakening poignant feelings within us. Others seem at first to be simple but prove to be confusingly complex. We make the best decisions when we approach the decision-making process from a balanced emotional and intellectual foundation. When we have achieved equilibrium in our hearts and in our minds, we can clearly see both sides of an issue or alternative. Likewise, we can accept compromise as a natural fact of life. Instead of relying solely on our feelings or our rationality, we utilize both in equal measure, empowering ourselves to come to a life-affirming and balanced conclusion.

Balance within and balance without go hand in hand. When you are called upon to choose between two or more options, whether they are attractive or distasteful, you should understand all you can about the choice ahead of you bef…

Leslie Feinberg continues to break gender barriers

By Jillian A. Bogater
Originally printed 10/26/2006 (Issue 1443 - Between The Lines News)

"Trans Gender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time Has Come" by Leslie Feinberg
It was during the Stonewall riots of 1969 that acclaimed author and trans activist Leslie Feinberg came out.

During this time of war and unemployment, Feinberg began a long journey as a warrior in identity politics.

Some 36 years later, the country's political and economic climate is similar, and Feinberg is still on the front lines fighting for freedom of gender expression.

Feinberg straddles the lines of defined gender - preferring to use neutral pronouns such as hir and sie - and has dedicated hir life to challenging transgender bias.

Feinberg will talk about hir new novel "Drag King Dreams" and address the struggle for trans liberation in an era of war, racism and reaction tonight at Wayne State University.

At a recent talk at the Workers World Party office in Detroit, Feinberg spoke about gender as a…

Restroom Madness

In a recent article in Newsday, a writer asks advise on how to deal with a male-to-female transsexual that is in transition at work. The writer, a man, was taken back and uncomfortable when "Karen" exited the men's room.

I had to laugh because usualy the yells are from TSs using the ladies room, as if transwomen were somehow invading and violating holy ground. We've all been reading about such confrontations nationwide. Why "Karen" was in the men's room is any one's guess; perhaps it was company policy, perhaps being known at work previously as a man she was trying not to intrude into the ladies room until her transition was complete.

But it does make one wonder what the eventual solution will be. Perhaps if we all just start peeing in the hallways the "normal" people will allow us to finally use a restroom without screaming foul.

"Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund announced Monday that it has reached…

Psychologists now know what makes people happy

Source: USA Today
Date: 12/10/2002
By Marilyn Elias The happiest people surround themselves with family and friends, don't care about keeping up with the Joneses next door, lose themselves in daily activities and, most important, forgive easily. The once-fuzzy picture of what makes people happy is coming into focus as psychologists no longer shun the study of happiness. In the mid-'90s, scientific journals published about 100 studies on sadness for every one study on happiness.Now a burgeoning "positive psychology" movement that emphasizes people's strengths and talents instead of their weaknesses is rapidly closing the gap, says University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin E. P. Seligman, author of the new book, Authentic Happiness. The work of Seligman and other experts in the field is in the early stages, but they are already starting to see why some people are happy while others are not: The happiest people spend the least time alone. They pursue personal…

Seeing Beyond The Unknown

Fear Of Losing What We Have

One of humanity's biggest fears is losing what we have. It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard to attain, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about. We need to remember that focusing our energy on fear can actually create what scares us, and holding tightly to what we have keeps us from participating in the universal flow of abundance and instead creates stagnation. Since we can only really control our thoughts and our responses, gaining proper perspective may be key to conquering such fears.

The letters of the word "FEAR" can be used to stand for "False Evidence Appearing Real." Fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness comes from a delusion - a distorted way of understanding ourselves and the world around us. When we understand that possessions are only representations of the energy at work in our li…

How Carly Fiorina lost her gender groove

Click here for Carly Fiorina's own comments about being publicly fired from her position as CEO of Hewlett Packard

Maureen Dowd, New York Times
October 15, 2006

CARLY Fiorina prided herself on being adept at succeeding in a man's world without whining about sexism.

In her new memoir, "Tough Choices," the expelled CEO of Hewlett-Packard - the first female head of a Fortune 20 company - describes how she insisted on going along to a business meeting at a Washington strip club when she started out as an ambitious young woman at AT&T.

"I was scared to death," she writes, adding that she wore her most conservative dress-for-success business suit and little bow tie, carried her briefcase like "a shield of honor" and repeated the mantra, "I am a professional woman," even when her cabdriver asked her if she was the new act for the club, where babes in see-through negligees danced on tables.

"In a show of empathy that brings tears to my eyes s…

The Peace Revolution

(by Alysyn Ayrica)

"Many men cry Peace! Peace! but they refuse to do the things that make for peace."~~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

An open insight for the skeptic: there is truly nothing new, except the ability to progress beyond the old.

The way of peace has been taught in all the ages of the earth, yet we have, historically, relied on treaties between nations, cultural domination, or moral imposition within our societies in an attempt to establish an enforced peace.

All of these, though idealogical, are based on the physicality of mankind. The truth is, there are no physical tools which can effect the desired result that every thoughtful human has sought for the whole of humanity - a true and lasting peace.

The reason we, as a species, have found only short-lived moments of peace in this world is simple - peace must begin within each of us before it can be manifest in the world. We often hear of the indominable spirit of human beings bandied about in reference to conflict…

Spain moving from macho to gender equality

By Molly Moore, The Washington Post

MADRID — When María Teresa Fernández de la Vega graduated from law school in the 1970s, Spanish law banned her — and any other woman — from becoming a judge, serving as a witness in court or opening a bank account.

Today, the angular, outspoken 57-year-old is Spain's first female vice president, helping orchestrate a cultural revolution in the boardrooms and living rooms of the country that coined the word machismo — male chauvinism — five centuries ago.

"We have a prime minister who not only says he's a feminist — he acts like a feminist," Fernández said. "In two-and-one-half years, we have done more than has ever been done in such a short time in Spain."

Her Socialist government is requiring political parties to allot 40 percent of their candidate lists to women and is telling big companies to give women 40 percent of the seats on corporate boards. Half of Prime Minister José Luis Rodríquez Zapatero's Cabinet members ar…

Ambigendering Aristotle

One of the eternally recurring themes for the ambigendered (sorry, my term. It is intended to replace "transvestite" or "crossdresser" and refers to those who desire to and are, to a greater or lesser degree, skilled at presenting themselves as the opposite gender), is the idea of "moving forward." We all experience frustration when we perceive that we are not progressing towards our goal, or worse, that further progress is not possible. And what is the goal of the ambigendered male: to occasionally experience femininity as fully and completely as possible.

Let me make an argument which was recently inspired by reviewing Aristotelian philosophy.The first premise is that our desired goal is impossible to reach. We transsomethings, by definition, cannot fully experience life as a woman. Certainly, we can attain some level of feminine experiences with varying degrees of success (and indeed those varying levels of success often cause frustration for many).


Top 11 Misconceptions About Crossdressers

by Ellen Sherman

Every Fall, several hundred traditional husbands, fathers and businessmen come together in Provincetown for Fantasia Fair with parties, seminars and workshops exploring the thorny issue of how to buy the right wig and hide a 5 o'clock shadow with the foundation and blush-on. Heterosexual married men from suburbia with families who cross-dress? What's going on?

Apparently a much more common practice than most people would imagine. It's estimated that at least %1 of the male population crossdresses. And even as we approach the 21st Century, the idea of a heterosexual man in heels is still more than a little threatening. And confusing even for the crossdressers themselves. As JoAnn Roberts, founder of Renaissance, a Delaware Valley crossdressing support group of over 400 said" I knew growing up that I wasn't gay and I was heterosexual. I thought I might be crazy, but I knew I wasn't gay."

Crossdressing is a subject that's been universally m…

TG/TS Film Resource

Just a quick note to pass along a reference for anyone seeking interesting films on trangender issues (as well as many other documentaries). Their titles include "Col. Jin Xing: China's Most Emblematic Transsexual", "Juchitan Queer Paradise", "The Remarkable Story of John/Joan", "Adventures in the Gender Trade", "Metamorphosis" and "Paradise Bent". Filmakers Library can be located at