Sunday, August 28, 2005

Roll Call

(by Jenna Taylor)

Ladies,

The time has come for us to open the closet doors, turn on the lights, dust off the old handbags and stand up and be counted. As our society has come, albeit kicking and screaming, to accept certain alternative lifestyles, it has generally ignored the most inane and loving one. I'm talking about us, The Gender Expressionist.

We have all, including myself, sat back and watched Hollywood and the mainstream media, both of which claim diversity, malign us by portraying us a sexual deviants. All one has to do is sit through "Psycho", "Silence of the Lambs" , or "Dressed to Kill" to see the villian is a crazed TG.

Uhm, can I get a head count here? How many of you have your mother on ice in the basement? Are building a body suit from girls"roomy thru the hips"? Or in your part-time position as a therapist plan on attacking your patients? I suspect none.

What is at the very core of our Gender Expression? It's a desire to display our warmth, love and compassion for others. Under societies current guidelines, who "owns" those traits? Women. Exactly. Yet is it conceivable that men can also be those items? Of course.

What is at issue is our right as men, to express these traits without ridicule. And far be it that we do so in a manor that even further "shocks" society. Crossdressing. How many of us are approached by members of the "mainstream" and asked, "Why do you do this?" I for one relish at the opportunity to explain. Yet, should we be forced to "fight" this battle over ignorance one "combatant" at a time? No. Pure attrition will not not only take forever, it will not send the message of unity and solidarity we need.

"So, Jenna?" you ask. "What can I truly do about this?" This is a reasonable and logical question to be asking. My answer is as follows.

GET INVOLVED. In countless cities across this country there are support groups, Yikes, I said those words. "Support groups". I HATE those words, in that it implies a room full of "broken " indiviuals looking to their therapist of guidence. Your local TG group does provide support, yet not in the clinical fashion. It's the sisterhood. The solidarity of members uniting, marching in step, on the same sheet of music to each other. Are we a "rag-tag" group of gals at times? Of course that can be the case, at times. Yet the majority of the time are we strong, proud, and confident? You betcha!If the movement is to go forward, it needs participation. If "being out" is not your thing, and you want to support the cause, you have options. Try to attend a meeting locally, and if not, the next town over. This way you are away from prying eyes. Almost all groups have a secure meeting place with changing facilities. Check with the ones in your area.

GO ONLINE. Not comfortable in being out AT ALL? Go cyber. AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT MEAN "Trolling for Tgirls." The absolutely LAST thing we need in bringing acceptence to our cause is the SEXUAL overtones, that societies tries to label us with. Are we human and thereby sexual beings? Of course. Yet isn't every other human being out there? And this does not define us. Many of us do not even bring our gender expression physically into our sex lifes. We do of course add love, warmth and compassion to "our game" and most of our partners truly appreciate that! So go online. Chat with your fellow TGilrl. Not about "hooking up" yet about the common problems we all endure. Offer your life experiences and mistakes, so that another may not follow in those mistakes.

The time has come, it's D-Day, H-hour. Time to storm the beaches, fight for liberty, all in the name of others, so that future generations may exist in peace, free from tyranny.(As the Battle Hymn of the Republic plays on with the unfurling of the American Flag!) LOL

Uncle Samantha Wants You!!!!!

Jenna Taylor

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Beware of Bubba

(by Felicia Conti)

Good Evening Ladies,

I am a bi-gendered person and have been interested in gender for a long time. I work in the field of psychotherapy and am in the process of writing a book on my experiences while out in the gender world. Following is about an incident that occurred last summer after spending several days and nights in Key West with a gg friend of mine. The incident happened late at night in a locals bar.

Beware of Bubba

Beware of Bubba. You recognize him as he enters the room by the glazed look in his eyes and sense his presence by the way the hair on the back of your neck straightens and your stomach starts to knot. He has spotted you. “I like girls, not guys who look like girls” rushes through his thoughts. Attempting to fight back the initial attraction that started the chemical chain of events from the brain pathways, he clenches his fists and bites down hard as the veins in his neck protrude to absorb the flow of blood that originally targeted his loin area. Abhorrence of anything that disturbs his image of clear gender roles bubbles from every pore on Bubba’s chafed skin. Automatically shutting off the flood of male hormones, emotions, and sensual excitement that challenge his sense of who he is and what it is that attracts him, Bubba’s reptilian brain takes over. Does he run or does he fight? He senses your femininity, your softness, and your vulnerability. His rage intensifies as he knows that running away is not a necessity, not an option. He cannot loose by attacking just as does at home when his wife and little ones step out of line. You are small, defenseless, he is powerful and ready to snuff out your worthless existence. “Faggot”, he says, his reptilian brain unable to recognize that transgendered has nothing to do with sexual preference, “I’m gonna fuck you up”. He attacks, you respond. Life is precious, don’t let him end your life. Who survives? What changes? Beware of Bubba!

Just a reminder that Bubba is out there. I have experienced him at least on several occasions and in various locations and was surprised to learn that he is living and working in Key West. No place is sacred. Be careful!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Take care.

Felicia Conti

Keys of life in our extrordinary existance....;D

(by Brielle Echo Whitney)
Hi everyone, And welcome Felicia! You are going to be a splendid addition to this spctacular group of women. And I mean that, everyone here brings something unique & interesting to bear on the life & times that we share in this celebration of our unique path in this life. I know that some of you have been waiting patiently for me to open my mind here on Genderevolve, and as such I’ve been mulling over a lot of thoughts in relation to past posts, and still, at the same time, have been trying to take care of business, oftentimes not finding the energy to come to grips with what I’d like to say, in any terms but something flippant, so I’ve been holding off. That said, I ‘d like to try to address a lot of ensuing thoughts , not that I expect anyone to agree with me, but it’s time that I made a dent on the Genderevolve landscape.
Firstly, I’d like to address the idea of why are we here, and how did we get this far still on the planet mentally intact, wrestling with our personal demons. And I say that because a lot of girls find this manner of mental dichotomy to be just that. It is a battleground of the soul (s) that is always at the forefront of our existence, like it or not.
There are hundreds of thoughts that pulse like an AC current in our brains, on, off, on, off within milliseconds each and every breath that we take, especially with regards to the bi spirited nature that we embrace.
Religion, especially Judeo Christian ethics state that the soul is entered into the body at the moment of conception.
Curiously, and not so, it is FACT that we are ALL born female, and that the turning point, involving the “degradation of 1 X chromosome, has determined our male status. This unfortunate chromosomal mapping has given us, due to its genome sequence SRY, testis and the rise of that organ’s main purpose, spermatogenesis. Comparativly, studies show that the Y was once equivilant, or analagus with the X, but has “devolved”, becoming progressively degraded, and now consists largely of repeated sequences as well as degraded copies of X linked genes. The bottom line is that we are all girls. That is the ancient memory stored in our genetic makeup, weather we have fully been blessed with the full monty or not.
Now, on the spiritual level, if we are determined initially female, biologically, does it not then follow that the spirit imbued in us all is as well female? How can that change?... Is it not more likely that we carry that initial spark, “devine gift” as a baseline blueprint for everything else to come? Somehow, the code warrior coming from an aggressive swimmer somehow has changed our initial makeup. And not to say that that isn’t right, but just is. BUT as we are imbued initially female spirited, where does that spirit go? Obviously, with some of us, the attempt to make that spirit dormant didn’t work. So then, is it not so that out of woman, came man? There is no doubt about this. In Biblical text, (not that I’m of any one belief system) Eve stood on the left side of Adam.... Curiously, there is an interesting correlation between Transgenderism and being left handed. I am left handed, and I’m betting a lot of you are too. The demographic of studies shows that 34% of gay men are left handed, 91% of Lesbian women are left handed, and roughly a little more than half of true TG's are left handed, while the CD population makes up the remainder being right handed... This is yet one more bit of evidence that sexual determination / orientation begins in the womb before birth! Interesting! I do not relate myself as gay, that scenario doesn’t interest me in the least, more like Trans~lesbian, The Female is always revered by me, the rest can take a seat at the back of the bus...lol The left hand, as I’m sure you know, is controlled by the right brain, the center for empathy & creativity. Isn’t that interesting! The demographic again for the TG community is that of highly evolved, independant and creative individuals. Coincidence between Eve, the left bank of our outer limits, and society is not lost on me.As they say, only left handed people are in their right brain!
As to Devi’s comment’s about the trans class and it’s acceptance in Indian culture, it all makes a lot of sense to me. Western Ideas of the paradine devision of male & female come from a stilted place that is mired in a wasteland of role play , which often creates mental breakdowns of all participants. I lived in Europe for quite a few years, and the tolerance, and acceptance level, though still not across the board, was anchored in the ability of the general population where I was to see a guy in a skirt as not a cause for a punchup... much more accepting of the idea of diversity as the norm, and a good thing... I should move back there... I just may one day when the politicians make it OK to be a world citizen, and be able to make a decent living there as an independant! Currently, I blame Bush! As I’ve always said of that puppet regime, brought on by George Sr. and the religious right.But that's another pet peve for a different rant...lol
K,! next, I’ll address some other thoughts regarding place in history, from my prospective & knowledge base, especially with regards to my American Indian heritage.
There is a being, referred to by over 159 tribes of native Americans, called “Beardache” , the two spirited one. They understood. The Beardache, Transvestite, the transgendered one was revered as Shaman , Seer, Visionary, Diplomat and was held in a place of honor within these culutures. I am part Onondaga Iroquois. It empowers me to be a part of this living tradition.
The Earlier tribes globally found acceptance & power from the wisdom of these bi~spirited beings... why is it then that we are ostracized as being aberrant freaks? I don’t get it...
On to other subjects...
Yes, It is sad to me from the standpoint of being lifelong TG, and knowing that from an early age, that “newbies” are so transparently influenced by the societal media blitz.
Yes, we see over & over again new girls representing themselves as whores, sluts etc... This obviously bothers me as I’m sure it does you. It harkens to my mind of failed childhoods, where the media has uploaded a reference morgue of the female image, and in their particular cases, is a guarenteur of the wrong stereotype, as this has been played as key to feminity. It disgusts me, and objectify's women. Now, you all have seen my pix... and may decry them as similar fodder. I would take a different stance being that my life has been an ongoing workshop of keen observance of the gender which I feel dominant... heck, I’ve taken over & over the Cognati & Dianati tests amongst every other out there that I could find... and they all come up basically the same, that my brain is about 85% female.... hmmm. We are all bounded it seems in a visual sense by out surroundings.. so therefore, we emulate the women that are around us... and are informed by those criteria... I do have probs though with gurls who want to wear wedding dresses & mall hair, but that’s just me...lol We NY’s can be a different breed, like you sophisticated Canadian gurls! ( Montreal is way too cool!)
I feel that it also has a lot to do with upbringing, and as well, unfortunantly, a negative viewpoint of the female gender. Afer all, if you honored your female, would you be a slut? There are those who claim to help others on URNOTALONE who as well garner my Ire, as I’m sure that you know... Dressing new girls like LITTLE BO PEEP is simply a bitchslap to their advancement and integration of their 2 fold holistic side...enough there... we can and should be examples of a more realized integration, and help our sister...Everyone here is here for a reason, because you all are looked upon and respected as leaders in this community
That said, I’ve been contacted by many girls not involved in UR, hidden, not able to manifest their better hidden natured. I hope that all of us can be very supportive, and as we all seem to have been at this understanding for most of our lives, be responsible, helpful, and willing to be communicative with our sisters who are in need of some answers that we may be able to provide....
I also believe that the key to our passing lies within each of us. To look deeply into the soul and allow the female to breath, and live this way not on the weekends, but in the way that we approach our daily lives...the way we carry ourselves with confidence, pride, and gracefulness which will be shown respect from the very fact that it’s carriage belays a character of depth & quality. To this end, there is certainly a learning curve that never ends. BUT it’s in the details. I’m extremely detail oriented, and also have been a lifelong student of keenly observing genetic girls. Everything is taken into consideration, from vocalocity to carriage to arrangement to smell to well, all factors all the time. I find myself following beautiful cultured women into stores, get close to them on the subway & buses, go where I know they will be like galleries & museums, nightclubs, etc... all fur the intoxication that comes over me to take in the lessons learned. AND RETAINED!!! These are the things that dreams are made of. Mine anyway.
It for me, like probably most of you has been a lifelong pulse, lifeline, that which both drives us insane and in the same breath keep us sane and wanting more of it’s authenticity, relying on each of us to become the author of the phenomyna of SHE WHO IS.
For me, I remember enjoying playing with my neighbor's barbie dolls with her when I was 3, my mom letting me wobble around in her high heels before I was 7. By 10 I was sneaking the neighbor’s dresses off the clothesline, and as we grew older, our sizes were the same... I SO want to thank her, but of course never will...she had nice clothes, her parents were pretty flush, and when they would take the Winnebago off to points unknown I would go to her house ( hoping that they would be gone a LONG time!)...(I was about 16~17, we were allowed to use the pool) and get dressed, nice skirt & real heels my size! (her mom had blonde wigs, go figure...not much has changed there!...lol) and take their car (Bri was a bold child) to the city 40 miles away to wander the mall....lol yeah, I’ve got that shopping gene bigtime as most of you know...lol I was really scared too, but Bri demanded to exist. She will not go quietly into the night nor will she be transparent!
I remember once going to a restaurant on my way home, and walking through the bar...5~6 of my teachers were there! YIKES! I walked past them all and went to the ladies room. Upon coming out of the stall & putting on more lipstick at the mirror... my biology teacher came in, stood next to me, and complimented me on my shoes! She was a little tipsy, but still, she thought that I was a girl...the reality being that I was / am! This was such a thrill that I walked out and strode confidently past my teachers again. I smiled all the way home.
Since those early days, I hope that I’ve come a long way in maturity, empathy, helpfulness , humility & grace. I think I’m ok, I’m pretty much at one with my duality, and I accept that the male is always going to be there...It’s a good thing, he protects her and nurtures her. He buys her whatever she wants. He loves her very very much and is proud of her too. He lets her live.


K, kittens, so you want to know more about me huh...lol well, you’re going to have to wait for the next installment... I’m not one to blow all the chips at once...lol BUT I hope that those of you who I have not spoken to will contact me.. I’m moving away from URNOTALONE, as it’s become a joke, hasen’t it? And focusing my attentions on you folks, the cream of the crop so to speak of intelligent, vocal, insightfull & beautiful women... count me as your friend all of you...

Love Peace, Laughter & Sisterhood... ;D

XO,

Bri

Monday, August 22, 2005

Gender Euphoria

(by Jenna Taylor)

Hello Ladies,

I had the pleasure hanging out with a friend of mine, Christina*(name has been changed to protect the beautiful) this weekend. Usually we meet up at a local club with other friends. Unfortunately, its always noisy and its not a great place to hold a conversation.

Tina attends a local support group TGEA . This weekend they were manning a booth at the Arlington County Fair in Arlington VA. She invited my to hang out with her at the fair and afterwards go shopping. While the fair okay, the booth was fully covered with members, so we did like any self respecting girls would do, we went SHOPPING. This is where my post begins.

Tina has been out for a year now. She is married and recently experienced the bliss of child-birth with her first child, a son. Tina and I had several hours to bond and share personal experiences. She shared one item of importance with me. Her wife picks a fight everytime before she goes out. Tina says that when she comes home, everything is okay with her wife. Now in fairness to her wife, I am not "in" their relationship, so I played "Devil's Advocate". Each time we disscussed an issue, I would "inquisitively" take the other side. My reasoning was to provoke her thoughts and reasoning on her points. I came up with a single deduction.

Tina is experiencing Gender Euphoria.

I myself went though this with a former girlfriend. It lead to our breakup. Although if not the gender euphoria, something else would have broke us up. She had taken the position that my gender personality and all of the factors of it was incomprehensible. I was not to "reeled" in during this phase. I had denied myself for so long that no one could make demands upon me!
Is this fair?

Do we have that right?

Are our vows of matrimony a shield for us?( In sickness and in health? til death do you part? )

Gender euphoria can be compared to the stages of development young women go through in their adolescent years. As a point, most crossdressers even dress like teenaged girls during this stage.(Deliver us from ourselves!) Is this a "healthy" period for us and our mates?

Do we need "parental" supervision to help guild us in the correct direction?

Oh so many questions, oh so many correct answers.

What do YOU think?

Jenna

Friday, August 19, 2005

Mythologically speaking of course

(by Arianne Travis)

Going back to ancient Greece, a much simpler time if you ask me, there used to be nine godesses, all dauthers of Zeus, who were personifying a source of inspiration to artists, poets, musicians and probably many more beyond that. They were the key to the good life since they brought both prosperity and friendship.

Aren't we all like artists in our very personal journey of transgenderism, our constant evolution? Everyone is a painter after spending so much time in front of the mirror, a singer if you ever tried to soften your voice like a female or a dancer for walking around in heels for hours... in my book anyway.

I think I just heard everything about the tenth one. The light at the end of the tunnel, the sight for soar eyes, the special voice, the gal I was waiting for, etc... only to list a very few. Her recent presence in our lives affected us in many ways, bringing us closer together and even teaching us a few things in the process.


I see Michele as a muse, our muse, my muse.
She is Euterpe, Calliope, Clio, Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia and Urania, all embodied into one being, one soul. For me, her growing benevolence and devotion to the TG community symbolizes a hope for acceptance by the society at large that will happen one day.

There are simply no words that can possibly be used to express the gratitude I hold for her. We all love and thank you for everything is the short version.

Now what's the phone number of your other 9 sisters? Darn!!!! ;o)

Hugz and kisses...


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Your Valued Contributions

(by Michele Angelique)
I want to express my sincere gratitude to each and every one of you. Some of you have actively posted and commented on GenderEvolve, while others have maintained private correspondence with me directly. I consider both types of participation and feedback to be highly valuable, and appreciate your efforts more than I can say.

I have recently changed a few settings in the system, and want to explain how things are set up from a technical perspective. This will help you to understand the ways in which you may contributre. GenderEvolve is made up of three components: the website, the blogspace, and the yahoo mailing list. Content on the website will be derived mainly from the blog, which can be viewed our "behind the scenes" mode of communication.

Both the blog and the yahoo list are unlisted invite-only, and made up of the same group of contributors. While the yahoo group was initially established only as a means of automatically circulating the articles posted to the blog, I'd like to expand the usage of the yahoo list to be a simple mode of communication among us, which may or may not be directly related to gender issues. If you want to share something or initiate a discussion but do not feel it is sufficient or relevant to post as an article on the blog, the yahoo mailing list can be used for this purpose.

If you want to chat informally with the group, send an email directly to genderevolve@yahoogroups.com and it will automatically be distributed to the contributors but will not appear on the blog. Replies will be circulated privately back to everyone on the list, similar to any other yahoo group you may be familiar with. This will enable us to have ad-hoc discussions among ourselves, with greater technical ease than posting on the blog, and without concern for formalities (spelling, grammar, etc). You can also send files and pictures as email attachments through the yahoo group (within reason). If a particular topic evolves organically through our yahoo group correspondences, I may from time to time compile such threads and move them onto on the blog.

If you want to present a gender-related issue in the form of an article on the blog, the process requires that you log in to www.blogger.com and create a new post. You can save this as a draft in your blog account for as long as you need, and when you are ready to post it, simply hit the "publish post" button and it will appear on the blog. It will also be sent automatically through to the yahoo list and circulated among the contributors, as will any comments made on the blog. If a high volume of emails begin circulating on a daily basis, you have the individual ability to turn off the notification setting in your yahoo account.

So in a nutshell, the yahoo list is completely informal and totally private, the blog is a semi-formal and still private means of posting and archiving our articles and comments, and the website is our formal public presence. A point of note: if you comment on a blog article but do not wish to have your comment or a certain statement be added to the public website, the protocol can simply be to put the word *PRIVATE* before the entire comment or a specific statement. If you do this, I will know to keep what you've said off the website. By default, I will assume that posts directly to the yahoo address are private, and posts to the blog are ok to add to the website unless otherwise specified. Please leave a comment on this article or email me directly at ladydominess@yahoo.com if you have questions about any part of what I just described.

***

GenderEvolve.com has now been online for 10 days, and has already received over 2300 unique visitors from all over the globe. The majority of this traffic has come from the banner link on my URNA profile, which I find absolutely incredible. I had no idea my URNA profile actually receives this much traffic! I have also noticed traffic coming in from www.JennaTaylor.net and www.DeeFemina.com, which is awesome, thank you so much darlings. I deem any effort to promote GenderEvolve.com as a form of contribution which is most welcome, whether you want to add us to your website, your profiles, tell your friends, or even take a moment to post the site in the links section of yahoo/msn groups to which you belong. An assortment of GenderEvolve banners and text links can be found at http://genderevolve.com/linktous.html. I am now beginning the process of contacting all TG websites that are linked on GenderEvolve to invite them to review our site, and possibly link back to us. Any help you can give me in getting the word out in the TG community would be appreciated.

You may have noticed that nowhere on GenderEvolve.com is the site identified as "mine", because this site is not for me or about me (my personal site, dominess.com, is currently in development). GenderEvolve is "our" site, and I want each of you to feel a sense of ownership and pride at the initiative we have started here. I could not do this alone, nor would I want to. As the site evolves, I will be adding more substance to our "About Us" section, and will highlight each of you with your own page on the site. My hope is that our site will come to represent our collective voice. You each have something special and unique to share, and GenderEvolve is a venue through which you will be celebrated.

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for participating and contributing. I think we have the collective potential to create something truly special and remarkable. This is only the beginning.

With much love,
Michele

Resisting Influence

(by Rhenaiya Jesson)

Remove all the outside influence on my existence and you find a happy beautiful woman simply enjoying her femininity. This is a very important thing considering I was born male and can remember a time when such a pleasure was seldom achieved.

The influences we are subjected to by our family, friends, media and society in general are undeniable and will continue to be there regardless of what we do. It is how we choose to acknowledge these influences that will determine their effects on us. Though the standards, beliefs, fears and doubts of others are separate from our own, they can easily manifest within us and become entwined in an inner conflict.

The most stressful moments of my life I can attribute to such conflicts. The fears of my parents and friends are pitted against my own hopes and dreams. Unchecked, such fears can become inhibitors. I have had my confidence smashed to pieces by the concern of those who care about me and consequentially found myself on more than one occasion unable to take even a first step towards a personal goal. Though it would be easy to deny any responsibility for my behavior and point the blame at others, I know it is by my own doing that I permit myself to be influenced in such a way.

It is very much the same in regards to the standards and traditions of society. The media puts forward and ideal representation of what a person ought to be like, society in turn passes judgment on itself by this measure. Like religion, the media tries to tell us the difference between right and wrong, what can be deemed beautiful or ugly, and fails miserably at defining us. It comes as no surprise to me, knowing full well the vastness of human ability and limitless combinations of personality. It is again up to us how we will allow such outside influence to affect our behavior. A person merely has to examine any modern trend to see the way media can control a persons actions and the choices they make.

It would seem appropriate that the best way to deal with outside influences such as these would be to ignore them or avoid them but I feel this is a naïve and unrealistic solution. We cannot segregate from society and those close to us in order to protect our own beliefs and ideals. A better method to react to such influences would be to identify them for what they truly are and then to remember why we choose to think differently. Even within the transgendered community, the beliefs and ideals of one person simply cannot reflect those of the entire group.

The more we embrace each others diversity and respect individuality, the easier it will be to accept our own.