Thursday, June 30, 2005

June 2005 Recap

(by Michele Angelique)

I am pleased with the great start we’ve made on our new blog. There have been so many thoughtful, insightful articles and comments posted so far. I’d like to thank each of our contributors for participating in our discussions about transgender issues. My hope is GenderEvolve can become a place we can share our thoughts and feelings in a comfortable environment.

About our contributors…

This is an invitation only blog, comprised of transgendered and genetic women. I have chosen each contributor based on three main criteria. These criteria include:

1.) ability to communicate in an articulate, thoughtful manner
2.) presenting in a way that reflects well on the feminine gender
3.) willingness to share views and opinions, and consider those of others

Based on these criteria, I will continue to seek new contributors and welcome any referrals that any of you may have in terms of TG/GG friends that may be interested in contributing to our blog.

A brief introduction…

Most of you ladies already know each other, but still, I’d like to introduce each of our contributors just to be sure. In alphabetical order, our group includes…

* Alexis Rene in Illinois - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/40268
* Amber Smith in Georgia - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/40522
* Annette Brunette in MA - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/32928
* Arianne Travis in Montreal - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/658
* Brielle Echo Whitney in New York - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/1921
* Dee Femina in Sydney Australia - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/44806
* Devi in California - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/47464
* Dominess Michele in SK Canada - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/47764
* Gaylene in California - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/44701
* Jenna Taylor in Maryland - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/25689
* Karen Reeves in Connecticut - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/30677
* Miranda Skye in Oregon - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/40348
* Rhennea Jesson in SK Canada - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/33422
* Shannon in Vancouver Canada - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/42210
* Stacie Ku in California - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/46699
* Tray in Ohio - http://profiles.yahoo.com/tgirls_sista
* Victoria Derhen in New York - http://profiles.urnotalone.com/3401

A contributor removed…

I was forced to remove a certain contributor recently. I did not feel good about doing this, however it was necessary. She made a post on our blog which contained several discriminatory comments about crossdressers, while at the same time promoting labeling and segregation within the transgender community. Although many in our group were highly offended by her post, myself included, she was not removed at that time because this is a forum where open expression of opinions is encouraged. I thought perhaps her controversial views would facilitate our discussion on ways to overcome the stereotyping that goes on in society. Her original post will remain on the blog as a discussion piece to remind us of the attitudes and stereotypes that must be overcome within the community.

The contributor was removed several days after her original post because she posted a flaming addendum directed specifically at one of our other contributors. Her second post was deleted immediately, as it was no more than a pointed attack. I want to be clear; I did not remove her because she has differing views. I removed her because she was acting in what I considered to be an extremely hostile, rude, disrespectful manner. I want GenderEvolve to be a place where intelligent, thoughtful conversations about transgender issues can take occur in an environment that is safe and comfortable. We don’t have to agree on everything. All views are welcome here; the only conditions are respect for one another and the transgender community.

Articles contributed in June…

In just the last two weeks of June, we’ve had several new articles posted and numerous interesting comments. Many of the comments could be articles in and of themselves. In summary…

Contributed by Rhennea:
An Opportunity
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/opportunity.html
have u seen my box???
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/have-u-seen-my-box.html

Contributed by Dee:
What do Genetic Women really think about us?
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/what-do-genetic-women-really-think.html

Contributed by Shannon:
What kind of girls are we?
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/what-kind-of-girls-are-we.html

Contributed by Dominess:
the best of both worlds
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/best-of-both-worlds.html
Am I transgendered?
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/am-i-transgendered.html
CD/TV/TS labelling
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/cdtvts-labelling.html
pondering men's liberation
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/pondering-mens-liberation.html

Contributed by Haily:
My TS view of a CD
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/my-ts-view-of-cd.html

Other business…

I have received several requests from contributors that they be automatically notified when new articles or comments are posted on GenderEvolve. To this end I have set up a notification system by way of a group mailing list. I have added each contributor to this list, so from this point forward you all should be receiving automatic updates to the same email address you used to create your blogger account. If you do not wish to be notified, or if you want to change the email address receiving notifications, just let me know.

Once again, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for your valued contributions. I look forward to sharing many more discussions on thought provoking topics on this blog in the future.

Much love to you all,
Michele

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

An Opportunity

(by Rhenaiya Jesson)

Although anyone (with intelligence) can agree that there are good and bad, moral or immoral people of every faction of society, every person is subjected to an imprinted stereotype. We are equally susceptible to perpetuate such thinking as we are to being victimized by it. The human mind is very much like a computer and when we think of something in particular, like a search engine our brains summon everything it can find related to that topic. If you were to run a search on the internet right this very moment you might get a good example of how transgenderism is viewed by society.

While you may find educational sites and the profiles or stories of ordinary transgendered people living ordinary lives (sounds nice), by and large the content encountered is pornographic, degrading and offensive in its abundance. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no right to judge other people for their actions and have no such desire. It is simply that I find it hard not to take note of an imbalance in how we as transgendered people, women especially, are being represented. These sentiments are not exclusionary and are meant to include all people who find themselves in the “grey” area of gender.

An obvious problem for transgendered people is that our most successful and admirable predecessors often choose to downplay their transgenderism if not completely conceal it. Even though I can empathize with the desire to be safe within the scope of social perception, this course of action does nothing positive for our cause (yes, we have a cause). In fact, I’d be so bold as to say that it has a negative effect by reinforcing the notion that transgenderism is wrong and needs to be hidden from view. When this is paired with the overt and explicit sexuality of pornography it’s no wonder such a one-sided perspective exists.

Maybe it would be better if in the erotic films, our transgendered woman arrived home from her chosen profession and after unwinding a bit made love to her significant other, talking about their feelings afterwards (it happens, believe me). It paints a more favorable picture than the woman who has sex with the cable guy, pizza guy, plumber, electrician, telephone repairman, gardener and mailman…..at the same time (does that really happen? The poor woman’s house must be falling apart to need all those professionals).

Now I have to be clear, I have nothing against erotic films or the people who express themselves sexually. It’s obvious that there is so much more to us. I have no contempt for anyone based on something as shallow as the clothes they wear or the sex they have. I merely feel that as transgendered women, we have an opportunity and perhaps a responsibility to one another to balance the way society perceives us. I know there are others who feel the same way, who wish to eliminate the unfavorable stereotype that has been rendered.

We are misunderstood from the moment we admit to being gender dysphoric, we are labeled and then reduced to the fragmented remainder, rounded down. We cannot change the world but we can change ourselves. We can’t expect people to make an effort to learn, but we can make an effort to teach them.

Rhennea Jesson

Saturday, June 25, 2005

What do Genetic Women really think about us?

(by Dee Femina)

So what do Genetic Women really think about us, and I'm actually mainly thinking about "What do they think about crossdressers?".

I think most women would be totally comfortable with our transgenderism. It's our outward physical manifestation of our t-girlness...the crossdressing aspect, that my question is about.

This is something that I've been pondering for some time. And I ask it for the simple reason that I have this burning need to be accepted, welcomed, admired and yes...dare I say it...desired by genetic women. That all happens in my male guise, but do they feel the same way about me as a crossdresser? I'm not sure. In fact, I think they don't. As much as I want to imagine and fantasize that GW's would welcome, accept and admire me, I actually don't think they do.

Why do I think that?
Well, it's due to womens' reactions to me that I've noticed over recent weeks. I've started going out dressed en femme to "normal" places over recent weeks.

And what I've seen is that it's women who immediately notice me and who recognise me as a crossdresser. The men, excluding the few tranny-chaser admirers, don't take much notice of me and, I'm sure, don't realize that I'm a crossdresser. The women on the other hand immediately, and I mean immediately, recognize me and then start whispering amongst themselves, looking at me and pointing me out to each other and to their male companions.

This doesn't bother or worry me...the being recognized and "outed" bit. I know and accept and am comfortable with being a genetic male t-girl crossdresser (my particular "box"). Yes I want to look as passable as possible and yes I want to look like an elegant, beautiful, classy lady. But I know who and what I am and that's okay with me.

What does bother me a bit is that I had assumed that women would welcome me and my desire to express my femininity in a physical manner. Why did I think that? Well I suppose it's partly because I have a need to be accepted by women, and it's also because I've been receiving such a positive response from female shop assistants and MAC beauty consultants. Have I been lulled into a false sense of comfort? I don't know, but maybe I have been.

I'd be very interested to hear your views.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

What kind of girls are we?

(by Shannon Summers)

About ten years ago, I remember watching a Geraldo Rivera show entitled, "Sexy Transexuals and the Men Who Love Them". This was back in the heyday, when gorgeous tgirls were a regular feature on daytime talk television. *sigh* Whatever happened to that? Anyway, the premise of the show was simple enough. Present the two groups, explain a bit of the attraction. And of course, the girls on the show were totally delicious, sassy and rude, but with the most amazing legs you've ever seen. The guys ...well, they were dweebs and genetic misfits, and that is being generous.

The show itself, however, was a disaster. The audience (almost exclusively genetic girls) didn't like the tgirls and were overly critical of them right off the bat. Well, these gurls knew how to dish it out as well and got into a pissing match with the audience. At one point, a sweet (but somewhat homely) young black girl stood up and asked the transexuals on stage a few pointed questions. One of the tgirls turned on her, criticizing her looks, and said, "Why don't you read a fashion magazine?"

Well, the mob of angry women just howled! How utterly shallow!!! Then it became clear what the real offense was. The audience of genetic girls didn't accept them as women, and if fact they viewed them as a mockery, as a characature of womanhood. These so-called girls knew nothing of the pain of motherhood, of sacrifice, of accepting a lesser role in society. All they knew was how to dress like a slut and try to steal away their husbands and boyfriends. They were whores, representing the lowest element of sisterhood. They were shameful.

I try to remember this as I go out and present myself as a woman. I want my looks, my presentation, to be a homage to womanhood, not a mockery. I want respect and acceptance. Even when I do erotic shots, I want them to be Playboy beautiful, classy and elegant, never trashy. So far, I feel my approach is working, as I am getting the kind of reaction I desire. Most genetic girls have been very complimentary and seem to enjoy that I am respectful and take serious my journey into their world.

And that means a lot, coming from them.

-Shannon
http://profiles.urnotalone.com/tgirlshannon

Sunday, June 19, 2005

have u seen my box???

(by Rhenaiya Jesson)

foreword*** thanks to my friend who created this blog and to all those who will use it for an opportunity (ha, i remembered how to spell it!) to say something meaningful or at least clever. having said that, i hope that someone finds my "off the cuff" remarks either or...

these little boxes are too small for me... boxes for women, boxes for men, boxes for every different race and religion, boxes for every sexuality. i've been looking for a box marked transexual lesbien musical poets and have yet to find one. though i look around and feel sorta cheated, everyone else "seeming" to fit into their own little niche, maybe it would be best to scrap the whole plan and go uninhibited by the cardboard confines of structured social identity. i mean, really...who is everyone trying to kid. everyone knows men can cry and women can fix cars. we also know that everyone sneeks a little something into their box that isn't supposed to be there, but then who made up those rules anyway?
when i think about it more, it seems we try to pretend we are something we are not for the sake of the box itself. when we ask ourselves who truly cares for us, we know it's the people in our lives who appreciate our contents rather than our label. sometimes our friends and family love the ideals they have of us more than they love us actually. to find out all one has to do is be themselves. if it is impossible to be abandoned by those who really love us for not fitting in, then we must be sustaining the illusion ourselves and putting false importance on belonging to something bigger.
what this all boils down to is this...either a person can live inside a box, uncomfortable and unfitting, or they can live outside of the illusion. both choices have their consequences and albeit for me to decide what is best for someone else. all i know is it sure looks like a beautiful day out there.

Reasons for Crossdressing

By Marlena Dahlstrom

I have had some thoughts on the various reasons why we dress, which I'd originally posted in reply to the SO of a TS who is transitioning and who was -- understandably -- upset and puzzled that it took her husband until his 30s to realize he was a TS rather than a CD. I think it's more useful to think in terms of motivations rather than labels, although I think the type and strength of each person's motivations leads them to a different place along the transgender spectrum. It's unfortunate the terms have gotten muddied, not that I want labels to put people into little boxes, but rather as a way to understand our differences as well as our commonalities.

Much probably has to do with the still-unequal gender roles in society. If a woman acts manly, she is just trying to assert herself into a man's world. If a man acts feminine, he is surrendering his place in the world. Personal circumstances also probably make difference, depending on your family's and culture's attitude toward sex roles. It's not uncommon for "late" transitioners to have been hyper-masculine in earlier years in an effort to convince others -- but mostly themselves -- that they are really male. This is in contrast to "early" transitioners who are typically are overtly "girly" in childhood and transition as early as they can. For the "lates," CDing is transition period while they struggle with their true identity.

But not everyone becomes a TS. Myself, I reflexively cross my legs protectively at the thought of SRS. From what I've seen you're either born TS or you're not. But there are some CDs who probably do have mild gender dysphoria. As I mentioned there's "early" and "late" transitioners, which to me this suggests that the gender dysphoria of "lates", while no less real, isn't as quite as strong as the "earlys." Anne Vital, a psychologist who works with transgendered folks, speculates that first group has minimal prenatal androgenization leaving the default female gender identity intact, while the second group have some partial prenatal androgenization, which enables them to appear and act normally as males, even it doesn't feel "right." (See www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm).

Taking that a step further along the spectrum, it seems reasonable that there are those who feel partly- to wholly-female, but not strongly enough to do HRT or SRS. These are likely girls who constantly feel the need to dress and might dress most or all of the time if they could. Or to put it another way, these are the folks that Virginia Prince originally referred to as "transgendered" before that became an umbrella term encompassing all of us.

Maybe the difference between them and "conventional" TSs is how they feel about their male bodies -- they may not be fond of it, but they don't regard it as an unbearable birth defect or deformity. Again if there's a spectrum, then it also explains why some TSs do HRT and may have facial surgery and implants, but don't feel the need to do SRS (assuming they aren't skipping SRS due to other reasons, such as finances, family situations, etc.) From what I've heard from these individuals, they regard their male genitalia as an annoyance, but not something completely alien.

GWs who fall into this "lesser-end" group probably just resolve their mild gender dysphoria by being manish women or butch lesbians, since there's are pre-existing groups they can find a niche in. (Note: I'm _not_ saying all butch lesbians are gender dysphorics, I'm just saying that since there's a visible group that a mildly trans-woman can slot herself into and satisfy some/most of her gender discomfort, she may not consciously think of herself as having gender dysphoria. (digression) Interestingly I've heard of one FTM who was a bit disappointed after her transition because he went from being the most macha lesbian around to a short, slightly-built, "wimpy" (his words) guy. (digression) I suppose maybe there's a similar dynamic for some of those who are "femme" gays and effete straights.

Since those in the "mild to middle" group probably doesn't goes in much for counseling with TG-specialising pyschologists (at least compared to TSs seeking to transition), they fall under the radar and therefore aren't accounted for in their theories.

In my case, I've had issues with men's gender role, but I've never doubted my maleness, nor would want to change sex except in a fantasy situation of being able to switch back and forth. (I suppose I might consider myself a "twin spirit" since if various online personality tests are to be believed, I've got a fairly androgynous personality. If I was braver and society were a bit more accepting, I might do the Eddie Izzard "tough androgynous" look, being more on the male side than female side compared to "twin spirits" I know who choose to present as women. but don't do HRT, etc. OTOH, I have to say I _do_ like being in full guy mode, as well as being in femme mode. So call me flexible, or maybe I am just exercising a women's prerogative to change her mind.... g) So how to you account for folks like me?

My own speculation is that men cross-dress for a variety of reasons. (And it's generally men, since women can be "masculine" in everyday life without overtly stepping out of society's gender role.) The reasons include:

- Submissives -- They're most visibly prevalent in the BDSM scene. Their primary kick is submission and what could be more "humiliating" than being emasculated. However, forced femme is a pretty common fantasy among both CDs and TSs, and I think that it's way for T-girls to avoid guilt and shame (similar to women who have rape fantasies to cope with anxiety about their sexuality), and it may also be a wish-fulfillment rewriting their childhoods where they were forced homme.

- Fetishism -- Since most of us start dressing around adolescence, I think that's probably a common spark, even if the tinder was laid by other causes. (Some CDs do start in childhood and I can't really speak to what starts it for them, since that's not my own story.) Not surprising, since given my teenage hormones _anything_ having to to do with girls had sexual overtones. But there's studies showing this driver often fades over time.

However it does seem like a number of girls do have an "embracing their inner slut" aspect. This might have a couple causes. First, underneath the dress, we've still got testosterone-fueled sex drives. Second, since of lot of girls only get to come out occasionally, they're still teenage girls emotionally and strutting their stuff the way some of the GWs did at that age. Just like the over-done make-up corresponds with the Bozo years of teenage GGs. Especially since there's no parents to say "You're not going out dressed like that!", nor the peer groups who might label you the school slut, both of which cause most GGs to tone things down sooner or later. Third, women still generally control how far things go. So it's a fantasy projection of "if _I_ were a women I'd never say no."

- Sensuality/Feeling Good -- Let's face it, silk feels nicer than denim. If this is the main driver, it may be enough just to wear some panties under their guy clothing and they don't feel the need to appear as a woman. In a similar vein, getting a manicure or facial feels great, and fortunately it's now acceptable for men to do that sort of thing, whereas it was considered odd only a few years ago so you had to be a "women" to enjoy it.

- Looking good -- Women's clothes can be more fun -- shoes, shoes, shoes! -- especially if your guy clothes are drab by comparison. And while I'm not sure if I'm more attractive wearing make-up than in guy-mode, I'm certainly prettier, since make-up by definition helps improve your appearance. It'll be interesting to see if the metrosexual revolution satisfies this urge for some.

- Showing off -- Men in our culture don't have license to be exhibitionistic the way women do. For example, I used to work with a GW who just loved showing off her body in a tight summer dress and heels. A guy who did the equivalent would probably get hauled into HR for a talk about sexual harassment. It does seem like a lot of CDs go through a phase of acting like 14-year-girls who've just discovered womanhood -- too much make-up, too much on display, etc. But you'll also find some GWs who enjoy being exhibitionistic -- as you'll see at any fetish event or nightclub. 'Course if you're _expected_ to constantly be on display that's not necessarily fun. But I think CDs are generally acting out an idealized version of what being a woman would be like. Dress up doesn't include bloating, cramps, doing the second-shift of housework after a long day at the office, pay discrimination, etc.

- Expressing your "feminine" side -- It seems like there's a lot of girls who in guy mode are in either macho or logical professions/cultures. The Myers-Briggs personality theory has the idea that everyone has a "shadow self" that's the opposite of your dominant personality traits, i.e. if you're extroverted, you've got a introverted part of yourself, if you're natural temperament is intellectual, you've got a feeling-oriented "shadow self" as well. MB argues these "shadow" parts tend to surface more as we age, developing a more rounded personality. For guys who's en homme personality is macho or Spock-like, I think CDing may be a way of dealing with parts of themselves that they've compartmentalized off, but that are "leaking" out. For guys who with more androgynous personalities, it's a way of letting out the more sensitive parts of their personalities that they don't feel comfortable doing so en homme for fear of being labeled wussy.
- Being someone else -- A fair number of CDs dress as a form of stress relief according to various studies. And what could be a better way to get away from yourself than to be someone else, especially some who's even a different gender (and perhaps a different race in our fantasies). For me, I think that's a significant reason why I started since I didn't really fit in during high school. In this sense, putting on a dress ain't that different than putting on a Starfleet uniform or being a hard-core Ren Faire participant. (Again, has anyone else noticed that these kinds of "alternative" activities, tend to attract a lot of engineers and programmers? It's as if putting on the costume allows them enough distance to act out parts of their personalities that they wouldn't do otherwise.) What's different is we're explicitly stepping away from some of the pressures "to be a man." Instead of getting up the nerve to ask someone to dance, we can be the ones who can sit back and choose who we accept.

- Mastery --The desire to become skilled and competent at what one does. I don't think this is something that starts men cross-dressing, but it's a reinforcer that can develop over time, similar to any other hobby. Once I decided I wanted to be able to leave the house, I realized I need to improve my dressing, make-up and voice skills, and did so with a vengeance. I'm not obsessed with passing, since I know I'll be read part of the time, but when I do blend in there's a certain satisfaction in having pulled it off.

I suspect in most cases, there's probably more than one driver -- since there needs to be enough momentum to overcome the self-knowledge that we're about to do something society generally considers strange at best -- and also the main driver depends on circumstances. For example, if I'm out clubbing, it's probably more about looking good/showing off than expressing the softer part of my personality. And I'm sure there's probably other motivations that I've missed. If anyone's got suggestions about other motivations, I'd love to hear about them.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Am I transgendered?

(by Michele Angelique)

I recently commented that I’ve always felt like a man “trapped” in a woman’s body, and received several responses questioning whether I am identifying myself as transgendered by making this statement. I say “trapped” with tongue in cheek, because I would never want it any other way.

I used to work as a stock broker, in a position where all of my peers were older men. These men seemed to easily recognize and accept my inherant masculinity and started calling me Michael, Mikey or just Mike (my name is Michele). One day after market close we were having drinks, and I proudly proclaimed to this group of manly-men that I am a “gay man trapped in a woman’s body”. They all laughed, and one of them even pointed out the irony of my statement by saying, “well then how the hell are you trapped?”.

Paradoxically, my comment didn't phase these guys. If it had been a man saying the same in reverse, the social consequences might have been different. Pondering more closely upon the subject it would be most accurate to say that in spirit I am a gay male crossdresser residing very comfortably in a petite female body.

To explain what I mean...

1) By gay, I mean that my relationship preference has in the past always been with men, so if I were in a man's body I would be considered gay (although more recently I would consider myself bisexual, or better yet, pansexual).

2) By male I mean I have an abundance of yang energy. I have always related more easily to men, been more interested in male dominated career pursuits like finance and business, excelled in male dominated educational subjects like math and science, I tend to be aggressive and competitive with males, and generally lack in most feminine interests or qualities.

3) By crossdresser I mean because I adore femmie clothing, makeup, shoes, so much that if I were in a man's body I would be a crossdresser. My exterior is about the only thing about me that is blatently female, except when working I wear dark colored power suits to fit in with the guys. So in spirit I feel like a gay male who crossdresses as often as possible, but only because I love having a female exterior. Despite my masculine personality, I prefer to be recognized as female. I am not at all the stereotypical “butch” woman.

So with the spirit of a gay male crossdresser, I'm lucky to have a female body because people think I'm just a straight female dressed as a woman. I’ve always felt like I’m somehow in disguise, like I have a little secret. I have never felt any urge to change this, or to hide my femininity. I wouldn't give up the very real power that comes with feminine allure for anything.

Since my inner self (male) does not match my outer shell (female), am I transgendered? It may be so, I’ve just never looked at it that way before. Or is the definition of transgendered based upon feelings of pain and anguish caused by the inner/outer gender mismatch? While knowing I have a male spirit, I want to continue living in a female body. Do I fit the definition of transgendered?

I am very interested in receiving some different viewpoints on this topic, so please do share your thoughts.

CD/TV/TS labelling

(by Michele Angelique)

There seems to be some controversy in the transgender community as to the usage and meaning of labels such as CD/TV/TS. I'm unsure how this labelling is beneficial, but I've seen many instances where it divides people and puts the community at odds with itself.


While clothing and make-up do not make a woman, some men cross-dress as an outward expression of that which they admire most. What I truly appreciate are those men who strive to do credit to the feminine gender because they love women, whether manifested as occasional cross-dressing or by varying stages of gender transformation.

A number of TS women have opined that cross-dressers don’t deserve to be called “she” because CDs are not on hormones or altering their physical body to become female. I disagree with this view because it is incredibly challenging to come out of the closet, even if simply in cross-dressing form. I would venture that it is not often a decision made lightly, and to do so a person must have fairly strong desire to manifest femininity.

It is difficult to judge or distinguish immediately the degree of desire or intention, simply by the chosen label. I won’t jump to a conclusion based on a label, and will give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. Therefore I will not accept generalizations such as “cross-dressers are sexist men disguised as women so they can act like whores”, because many CDs are men whose life situation will not enable them to truly become a woman, but they still feel the urge to manifest their femininity to the degree that is possible for them. Or some CDs just enjoy their duality, and want to maintain the ability to switch back and forth.

The way I see it is this... transsexuals understand how hard they've had to work to be accepted as a "she", yet it is transsexuals themselves who seem to begrudge cross-dressers the same privilege... many crossdressers may in fact be early-stage transsexuals, or simply men caught in life circumstances that allow them to only dream of being a "she". It shouldn't be so difficult for anyone to celebrate femininity. This is not an exclusive club.

If he wants to be a she, even if only part-time or even closeted, and is doing credit to the female gender, then my view is that "he" deserves to be addressed as "she" while doing so. I want to encourage all respectful efforts from men to manifest yin, in whatever form is most comfortable to them. The degree doesn't matter, it's the purity of intention that counts most to me.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

pondering men's liberation

(by Michele Angelique)

I am only coming to realize the pain and guilt that so many endure for a simple pleasure like crossdressing. I am confounded by it, actually... how could something so harmless and healthy as a man wanting to express femininity be deemed so wrong by society?

Women earned the right to crossdress with "women's liberation", and no one thinks anything of it anymore. A powersuit on a woman is considered sexy by many... when I'm feeling my yang, I can dress and act as masculine as I want, and it's ok... why is a skirt on a man who's feeling his yin considered so abnormal? I really don't get it.

"Men's liberation" still has not happened. Society still binds men tightly to rigid one-sided standards. All men feel yin to some degree, yet are brainwashed into believing it must be surpressed and denied. This very fact is a discredit to the feminine gender. Women should recognize that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. For a man to want to be feminine means he places value on the yin energy, which is as it should be. To surpress and deny yin is to say it is of lower value than yang. The emergence of the openly yin spirited man is what is needed to balance this society and humanity in general.

The irony is, it is men who are enslaving themselves to the rigid social archetype. Ordinary men are threatened by the presence of yin spirited men because they are reminded of their own inner torment and battle to enslave the yin, such that many will respond vehemently if not violently. It is men who are keeping themselves confined to the little black box, and persecuting those who dare peek out and openly celebrate yin.

Perhaps it is the women who must reach out, help the men out of the little black box, and join them in the celebration of all that is beautiful, kind, nurturing, loving, feminine... by genetic women condemning trans women, they are assisting in the enslavement of yin, and admitting that yin is inferior. Instead we should be praising her emergence in the male population... it's about time! The world could use a little more nurturing and love, and a little less war and greed.

Yin spirited men represent the evolution of men... their existence indicates the decline of an old-energy social paradigm which has been so destructive to both men and women alike for most of human history.