Friday, May 12, 2006

Conflicted

In my soul resides a box
Its origins unclear
And in that box which never locks
Lies treasures held with fear.

The wonderful, the horrible
So intricately intwined
Despairing joy
Alluring pain
Depressing ecstasy

A unified duality
fulfilling from within
Compels me forward
Drags me back
Again, again, again

Here my yin is yang
My yang is yin
I cannot stay out
But dare not stay in

Oh, highest of highs
And lowest of lows
You are my paradise
and also my prison

Strange alien friend
you inner place
That I must share
and desperately conceal
I hate you with an aching love
as you direct my will.

There in that box which never locks
resides the spectrum of my soul.

5 comments:

Stacie said...

Very eloquent. Your poem in right on the money. Trying to match society's norm with my inner femininity has caused nothing but conflict within me every since I realized my love of dressing did not match society's expectation of little boys.

Amara said...

Lovely Stephanie,
It reminds me of the war between what is spirit and what is flesh, sometimes acting as opposing enemies within us.

Lovely

Amara

Ricki Weaver said...

Stephanie,

In unity, there is strength
Strength is not necessarily masculine
Masculinity is what we say it is
What we say today may not be what we will say tomorrow
Tomorrow will not know unity if we ourselves are not strong
Strength comes from character
Character comes from conviction
Conviction will radiate from us if we allow it to be so

Love,
Ricki

Michele Angelique said...

RE: Conflicted
http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2006/05/conflicted.html
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Stephanie darling,

Thank you for this beautiful contribution. I really love this poem, "Conflicted". It flows so well, and conveys a mysterious blend of pleasure/pain stemming from the tug-of-war between innermost needs versus outerworld expectations and responsibilities. The poem itself is a contradiction, in the sense that emotions so complex are conveyed so simply. Masterfully written!

Much love,
Michele

Alysyn said...

On a more technical note, the sudden change of pace midway through lends beautifully to the crecendo of emotions being relayed and quickens the heartbeat of the reader. Brilliant, Stephanie!