A Life Lesson in Trans-Femininity

Imagine yourself as a five-foot-five, slim, curvaceous, and amazingly attractive woman, the best looking woman in the casino night club, a fem fatale. It’s after hours, but the club is bustling with activity. Now see yourself saunter like a feline into the center bar filled to maximum capacity with all sorts of upscale ladies and gents. Imagine that all eyes fixate on your every movement, on your curves, on your lovely feminine features. You take your place at the bar as two seats open up for you and your friend like the parting of the Red Sea.

Without even getting the chance to settle in, you are immediately approached by a dark, mysterious looking stranger, and then another, and then another. In fact, a half dozen men are vying for your attention simultaneously each trying to outdo their competitors to get close to you, to win some conversation time with you. The women examine you from afar, admiringly and often with envy.

For the next several hours, you are inundated by countless offers, requests, and proposals, some decent and some of them not. Did I hear one of the strangers ask you to marry him? Does this sound like a daydream, a reverie, a fantasy, or something out of a Danielle Steele novel, maybe a description from the life of the Lucky character in the Jackie Collins series, you ask?

I must confess that such a portrayal sounds unlikely, a trite exaggeration, perhaps. Rest assured that this is not a fictional account, but a reality, and one that I witnessed this past Friday evening in the company of Tori Holden of Orlando who was visiting South Florida. The scene was the Seminole Hard Rock Casino night club center bar in Hollywood.

Much more remarkable than her physical presence was her spiritual essence for Tori was not there to meet or to pick up anyone and made it quite clear to each of her would be suitors that she was madly in love with the love of her life and was not interested in their advances whatsoever. And even more staggering was her statement to each of her straight admirers that she is a proud transgendered woman. Though this statement was usually met with initial denial or disbelief, as the conversations progressed, it became apparent that such a statement did little to deter her interested suitors. In fact, I had to console a dark haired and exotic young guy who was afraid that he must be gay because of his strong attraction to a transgendered person. He indicated he has no interest in guys whatsoever. I assured him that he was not gay and that he was in good company. He was one in a long parade of interested straight guys who had approached Tori that evening.

As we left the nightclub at 6:30 a.m., I could not help but reflect on how Tori had shown me the power of the feminine not only in her attraction of the opposite sex, but more importantly in her taking the risk to openly advocate for transgendered people. While she could have easily stayed in stealth mode, she chose to risk speaking the truth of who she is and where it is she comes from. This was a valuable life lesson and one that I will cherish.

Felicia Conti


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