Survival is not a game

My response is to a transsexual woman in a Yahoo transgender group who appears to feel misunderstood and slighted by those who seem to lump all transgendered people into a common category.

Dear Friend.

It seems that underlying the intensity of your passionate feelings lie the issues of investment, honesty, and the willingness to risk it all to be yourself. I have sense that for those who take a casual or cavalier attitude to the issue of being transgender (such as those who dress infrequently), and yet insinuate their situation is akin to that of a transsexual woman, shows a colossal discounting of the total dedication that a transsexual woman must demonstrate just to survive. Such an undertaking includes pain, loss, suffering, and disruption of her life that she must endure in order to survive.

Survival is not a game and is not fun, is not sexy, nor is it sensual. It is what it is and without such a change, a transsexual woman would be unable to survive. That set of circumstances is very different from the situation of a cross-dresser, who while might be unable to stop dressing, still has a life, a job, and friends after the clothes come off. I, for one have a great deal of admiration for you and our other brave transsexual sisters who risk it all to be yourselves.

Lotsa Love.



Rob G said…
Hi Felicia, I thought it was about time I added my own voice to this site and perhaps a few thoughts to ponder over...It`s a great site, by the way....
Okay, here in Australia there has recently been an extensive investigation undertaken into playground bullying.Suprisingly, it was found that female bullying was by far the most systematic, prolonged and consequently most damaging to an individual (The,April 16th.)-it rather flows in opposition to stereotypes doesn`t it.
Now a little bit about myself and why I am putting this out...I am a 41yr old single man,resident here in Melbourne for the past 5yrs.And what I consistently come across is that my female/male friends pick up on something about me.Because I am `sensitive and understanding`-(their description)I am perceived as a friend/confidante,and probably gay.Definitely not a possible sexual partner.This isn`t anything new for me, if anything its been common throughout my life, but it has always puzzled me.Its almost as if people expect us to be true to our`selves`but only so long as they conform to their understanding.One or two friends have actually said I am too feminine.Which is quite ironic given that I am short(5`7) bald, and ride a 1000cc motorbike!oh and I work as a senior clinician in a mental health team
It has always been there within me to appear true to myself, and it seems when people comment, I don`t really have an option-I already am obviously not the within the range of `stereotypical man`-But do I sense myself to be `female?.I can`t say, I`m just me,(haven`t beeen anyone else recently.LOL)..
Surely we can encourage men/women/people to be all that they can be-Beautiful,honest and open..And welcome them as that?..Thanks again for the site...I will get round to contributing properly-soon....Might even put a few piccies to the words aswell....Have a wonderful day... RG.
Anonymous said…
I always saw myself as the woman I am today but it took a great deal to get here I first devoted my time to my wife and 4 children once they were on they're own I began my transition devoting my time,money to my transition never forgetting my family and since I rised my children to be open minded they are ok and understanding of me and my wife has remained friends but in a way I when into this new life and never looked back always looking for the future and to make my life better as the new me and for the many other transgendered people just starting out helping them in any way I can. Love,Leslie
Stephanie Yates said…
Once again, I think much of this has to do with the general confusion over terminology. Defining the various subgroups within our "community" seems to me an imperative. And I think it better if the members of said groups came up with the definitions than allowing others to do it for them, but my naive opinion is that I don't see a whole lot of agreement within the TG community or its subgroups.
Felicia Conti said…
Dear Rob,

From your post, I can see that you are a sensitive and complex person and someone who is on the pathway to finding your inner essence. I appreciate your honest sharing.

Dear Leslie,

What an uplifting message you deliver! Thank you for sharing your message. I agree that taking care of family is an important endeavour as is a forward looking and present focus rather than a rehashing of past failures. This seems to be a recipe for a successful and happy life.

Dear Stephanie,

I agree with you that these terms mean different things to different people. That being the case, I believe we should let others self-define and decide on the terms that are right for them.

Lotsa Hugs.

Felicia Conti

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