Monday, September 12, 2005

On trying to find… that ever elusive… BALANCE…

(by Dee Gregory)

Where do I fit in? In a society that is still slowly waking up and trying to come to terms with the concept of transgender, how do protect my family from the unenlightened and still gently move our vision of acceptance and understanding forward?

In every microcosm of society we have yet another microcosm of society. Within our transgender realm we have the good, the bad and the …uh…uh....... those who need a little more practice…. Some of us have the boldness and freedoms to carry the flag and lead the way while others open our closets only to connect the modem or network cable so we can join our sisters and friends through the cyber realm.

We each will eventually have to find our own balance and place where we are comfortable (but, hopefully not too comfortable) and can live our everyday lives. I recently heard of a gal who was ecstatic because she had gone 3-4 days totally in femme and from another whom’s string of 4 straight nights of 4 hours of dressing and picture-taking made her fulfilled (and exhausted) enough to take her usual 6-month sabbatical after the experience.

Balance is the ongoing search that seems to be so difficult to complete. As new facets appear in our lives the balance continually needs to be re-adjusted. Maybe it’s that ‘goal-oriented -vs- enjoying-the-ride’ imbalance in my soul, which wants it all to be fixed, resolved, and done... that makes this my own personal challenge. Life is more about the journey than the destination, anyway, right?

But for me this evolution is possibly most about perspective… where is the fulcrum or center-of-gravity now? Where is that place of balance between sacrifice and selfishness? How can I be true to myself, true to the ‘cause’ and true to my commitments of marriage and family within society’s existing ‘rules,’ even if they may be considered outdated? So for now our perspectives and views come from our place and balance (or imbalance) within our own souls. Are we always right …. yes! … and wrong… yes! Of course there are some simple right/wrong answers, but all to many are based upon perspective and place, in your soul and in society.

Some of us can juggle all of the demands and desires and have more thrown in without constantly bruising our foreheads, while others have our hands full with a single ball….. We continue to evolve, we are forced to search our souls, deep and wide though they may be, and ask where the balance is, what adjustments we need to make to maintain it, and how much of ourselves are we willing to share with others? and at what costs? Or simply……What is the risk/reward ratio?

We will all find different balances of the Yin and Yang in each individual life. Even with our commonality, we are each unique and individual with different talents, interests, skills, viewpoints and priorities. We each will be challenged to find balance in our individual lives with your experiences and views many times having no relevance to helping my life and my experiences and views being of little or no value to your trials. So we all work to find our individual balances in our diverse yet common group, and celebrate what each has to offer from our balanced, or imbalanced, lives. I thank God that life seems to be more balance beam than tightrope……..


Jenna said...

Dee, you are completely correct in that the balance lies within. It
is different for each of us based upon past, present and future.
Because we, as individuals or parties to a relationship/family, are
always moving forward in time, all of these three factors shift like
tectonic plates. Slow and assuredly, and occasionally abruptly.

I proffer to you that your search for balance is framed by your
personal credo. Each of us has a construct for our lives. It is
formed from past experiences, current footing, and future
aspirations. Correctly stated, you said none of us are wrong. More
accurately put "Are we always right? yes." I agree, because it is a
deep personal choice.( Hmm?)PROVIDED, we have a flawless
construct. "Are we wrong?, yes." Possibly. Yet only to society as a
whole. And then not always, yet inevitably sometimes.(Still with me?)
Nor is this fact important or relevent unless you're dealing with
greater dangers to society itself.

So, does transgenderism present a greater danger to society? It
could. As anything could. The question is, "Will WE let it?" or "Will
WE allow it to be corrupted?" Each point there takes look at the
situation from either above or below. Sometimes we're the levee and
sometimes we're the storm. Following your model of a society within a
society, we have thereby sub-societies. You could possibly subsitute
culture( yes those last 3 letters ARE important). It is inheriently
sub-societies (sub-cultures) that change the society(culture) as a

Life continues to evolve based upon these societal changes. Thus our
balance needs to be recalibrated occasionally. (Glad I tied that back
in?) Stick with your construct, your belief. Yet remember, the ground
underneath your feet is always moving.......