Men Who Wear Stilettos - And the Women Who Love Them

All around us, every single day, progressive understanding is happening. Yet another example is this recent feature on the Women's Entertainment Network entitled "Married to Cross-dressers: Men Who Wear Stilettos - And the Women Who Love Them", which was a candid and openly supportive glimpse into the lives of several married couples. Here is the write up about the episode, along with the link to the website.


You love your husband, you adore your boyfriend– so you let him slide when he leaves the toilet seat up, forgets your birthday, or find out he's seen Star Wars 212 times. But what if he asked to borrow your favorite blouse, and maybe some of that new violet eyeshadow. Would you, could you, deal?

Lots of women do.

There are thousands of heterosexual men - married or in committed relationships -- who routinely dress in women's clothing. It's estimated that at least 1% of the male population "cross-dresses." But even in this new millennium of nipple rings and ringtones, the idea of a heterosexual man wanting to dress in heels is still perceived as weird, even threatening. Cross-dressing is a subject that's been widely misunderstood, and it's just as confusing for the cross-dressers themselves - and the women who love them.

Misconceptions are rampant. For example, most people associate cross-dressing with effeminacy or homosexuality. But Dr. William Stayton, Head of the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Human Sexuality explains that most cross-dressers are "very definitely heterosexual. In fact one of the most difficult areas for cross-dressers is how to deal with the women with whom they wanted to be involved.

"The truth is that, rather than shying away from women, most cross-dressers are as interested in marriage or being in a relationship as any man. "There is even some advantage to being a heterosexual cross-dresser," says Dr. Stayton. "When dressed they often become more sensitive and understanding to the women in their lives. Their wives tend to find them delightful and often it can become a real enhancement to marital relations." However that "enhancement" can only come if the woman feels comfortable with her husband's occasional dressing.

In "SECRET LIVES OF WOMEN: WOMEN WHO MARRY CROSS DRESSERS," we get to know women who share their lives with transvestites. Women like Peggy Rudd, a 60-something grandmother who remembers the day her husband delivered a 42-page letter to her office one month after marrying "her soulmate." Her new husband's letter detailed the secret he couldn't bring himself to explain face-to-face. Seems her soulmate liked to wear ladies' clothes.

Carreanne has also found that life with a cross-dresser has its challenges. Her boyfriend Joe uses his female persona, "Tori Lynn," most of the time, and it's raised a few hackles in the couple's small Midwestern town. "It's hard to get out of the house as Tori Lynn," she explains, "We've had some negative reaction at local bars."

But some women publicly embrace the lifestyle. Kelly, a mother and cosmetologist, owns a popular cross-dressing boutique. The store offers wigs, clothes, prosthetics, undergarments -- and even rents lockers so men can secretly stash their female garb in a safe place. Perhaps most importantly, Kelly empathizes with her cross-dressing clientele since Kelly's husband, Jerry, is occasionally "Jeri." Kelly, Jerry and "Jeri" all live and work happily together with Kelly fully supporting her husband's love of female garb.

In fact, about a year ago she tossed all of Jerry's boxers so even when he's not in full-on Jeri drag, Jerry can still wear panties every day.


Anonymous said…
A very interesting article tht shows there can be some support if your a Cd.. I was a closet CD while married but, when I began to date after my divorce, I let my new found love know my desire to CD... I was surprised that she was so receptive and supportive. Since then we've enjoyed my femme moments which I think has enriched our relationship... It is so nice to see broadminded women willing to share our moments...

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