Are We Circus Elephants?
Have you ever seen circus elephants? These big magnificent animals who are capable of lifting hundreds of pounds and 'knocking over tall buildings' are teathered to a small stake in the ground. Do you ever wonder why they just don't pull up the stake and run away?
Well, when they were just little baby elephants, the circus would teather them, not to a small stake, but to a hugh pole in the ground. So, as weak little baby elephants, they did not have the strenght to pull the pole free. They soon learned that their movement was limited by the length of their chains. Once they felt the tension from the chain being stretched tight, they stopped and backed up. This limitation remained imposed in their minds even after they reached adulthood. At a time in their life when they could easily pull the stake out of the ground and escape, they docilely stop when they feel the tension of the chain.
Is this the same thing that society does those of us who are transgendered? Our chains of conformity were determined by the genetialia we displayed at birth. This determined how we were raised, how we were treated, how we were expected to act and how we were expected to dress. As babies, children, teenagers, we might have felt some differences, but most of us were not strong enough to overcome those chains. Some who did, like Gwen Araujo, paid a heavy price for breaking those chains.
So here we are as adults. Some of us have broken free and live, with or without SRS, 24/7 as women. But I suspect most of us, are still chained to some degreee. Oh, I've broken a few links and stretched the shackles enough that I can slip my foot out, dress and go out and interact with the world as a women, but at the end of the day, I slip my foot back into the shackle and chains of conformity.
Despite having tasted the freedom of being female, of womenhood, I/we are unable, or unwilling to break my chains. Does this make me/you a circus elephant?
Well, when they were just little baby elephants, the circus would teather them, not to a small stake, but to a hugh pole in the ground. So, as weak little baby elephants, they did not have the strenght to pull the pole free. They soon learned that their movement was limited by the length of their chains. Once they felt the tension from the chain being stretched tight, they stopped and backed up. This limitation remained imposed in their minds even after they reached adulthood. At a time in their life when they could easily pull the stake out of the ground and escape, they docilely stop when they feel the tension of the chain.
Is this the same thing that society does those of us who are transgendered? Our chains of conformity were determined by the genetialia we displayed at birth. This determined how we were raised, how we were treated, how we were expected to act and how we were expected to dress. As babies, children, teenagers, we might have felt some differences, but most of us were not strong enough to overcome those chains. Some who did, like Gwen Araujo, paid a heavy price for breaking those chains.
So here we are as adults. Some of us have broken free and live, with or without SRS, 24/7 as women. But I suspect most of us, are still chained to some degreee. Oh, I've broken a few links and stretched the shackles enough that I can slip my foot out, dress and go out and interact with the world as a women, but at the end of the day, I slip my foot back into the shackle and chains of conformity.
Despite having tasted the freedom of being female, of womenhood, I/we are unable, or unwilling to break my chains. Does this make me/you a circus elephant?
Comments
I say Chains of Conformity because most of us are chained to society's preception of male and female. We are raised to fit into the role that matches our genetials. By the time we become adults, most of us stay in this role. Some of us never dress, some only dress occasionally, and a few transition to living 24/7. The first link of the chain was our genitials. Then family, friends and society add additional links as we grow up.
I think the personal cost of breaking our chains is what keeps most of us in our birth sex. For me, the pain and cost to my family out weighs my desire to live 24/7, so I keep my chains on. I can slip them off when the desire arises, but I have just not reached the point in my life where I have to / want to make that kind of decision. That is not to say that it won't happen in the future. The following link http://www.mask.org.za/printpage.php?id=944 is to an article about someone who finally transitioned at 80 years of age. Perhaps better late than never?? For others, the pain of being in the wrong gender is so overwhelming, they are able to break their chains.
So I guess the point of my commentary is that most of us are like circus elephants because we remain chained to the role our birth sex and society assigned us. We slip them off once in awhile and run free, but sooner or later, we come slinking back and put our shackles back on.
Thank you Stacie for your analogy ... I enjoyed it and have wondered too about the tethers that bind us or propel us in one direction or another ... however, I think the links you speak of can also be safe haven and in a sense, a protectorate from true miscalculation ...
Marlena expressed this earlier on regarding limits with 'Blonde John' ... and as I have always been one to really push boundaries it was a poignant reminder about 'going too far' ...
My links, my family, my work, even my genitalia at current are also my comfort zone and despite the 'slipping' off of the chains of conformity (God knows conformity is something I am very uncomfortable with) which I not only adore but need, without them, the redefinition of self may indeed be the final link that promotes or saves from a miscalculation ...
Where are those magic pills when u need them?
I sometimes wish life were simpler, but then it is the complexity that is the spice in my stew, and it is the links that you speak of that also help me figure it all out ...
At least eventually I hope too ...
Till then - if I am going to be a baby elephant on a tether - pulling on the links to test them, then at least I will get to wear my tutu and perform ... just dont feed me any peanuts ...
So now (LOL)we become performing elephants in the circus?? I mean chained or unchained, I want to be a good looking elephant! Even when my foot is shackled, my toenails are polished, my legs are shaved and usually encased in hose and heels- we gotta have our little fethishes. And let's not forget the chains and shackle. No rusty old chains here! They better be made out of jewelry grade metal, plus this girl wants them shackles encrusted with some diamonds or other high quality stones. We want to be well conditioned good looking elephants!
The recent First Event fashion show was emcee'd by a lovely tall slim post op woman who'd successfully transitioned a few years ago. She had it all. A secure job. House. Friends. Good long term relationship. Very feminine facial features and a beautiful voice. Definitely a role model for anyone following in her footsteps toward full time womanhood. A friend of mine mentioned something, in passing, that I hadn't noticed at the time. She frequently wore gloves when in public. I found a picture of her in my photo album from a few years back and she did, in fact, have large hands and probably felt self conscious about them. Her plastic surgeon had done a magnificent job feminizing her face. Her SRS had gone smoothly. But as far as I know, hand reconstruction surgery wasn't an option. What does this mean? I guess even the very best of us in the community still carry little metal shavings from the shackles that we've sawed off.