Sunday, April 30, 2006

Happy Rebirthday to Me!!!


I have reached what to me is a first of many milestones to come in my life. I have officially been on HRT for one year as of Good Friday (appropriate day to start huh!). I can say that my experiences so far, though occasionally bittersweet, have been positive ones. Being a transsexual woman in Saskatchewan is an adventure to say the least.

I have been full time living as a female for about 5-6 months and have had what can only be described as a comedic ride thus far (my sense of humor is slightly warped). Since coming out I have felt at total ease with myself with who I am and have developed a sense of pride in being true to myself. Initially the reactions I got kind of bothered me. I don't know how well prepared I was to be stared at by everyone (having green hair in high school helped). I admit over time I have become more accustomed to the attention and have changed my perspective. I think I'm doing a good job of rattling the sensibilities of this old fashioned town and every grimace and sideways glance is a lesson taught in human behavior.

I guess the way I have been feeling about my transition is distinctly opposite to how I felt before it began. I used to be depressed, suicidal, and was ashamed of how I felt. I was unable to understand my emotions or why I identified myself as a female (there is no singular or general reason why we do). I hated myself for my inability to suppress or accept my need to express my femininity and hatred for the rest of the world for making it so easy to feel ashamed of being me. I think I draw a lot of strength from my family and friends for not judging me and that alone has helped me have a better outlook on life. However, I acknowledge a degree of spite with which I inflict my right to exist on the people I encounter. I'm past needing the acceptance of everyone else and accept myself.

Now before I keep going tooting my own horn about how far I've come i will share some of my frustrations. Ironically I notice I get called "sir" even more often than I did before I starting wearing make-up and women’s clothes (I have taken to replying by calling them the wrong gender in return). I suppose it bothers me a little less when it's a drive thru employee in comparison to a nurse (you'd think she would know better but then this is Saskatchewan). I still get afraid to go out a lot but mostly in respect to going to new places or when I am alone.

Sometimes I opt out of leaving the house unless it's necessary, the nagging feeling that I am putting myself in danger real or perceived has kept me safe so far. I can't decide where on the spectrum of cowardice and common sense I land but I am taking over the city in spurts of reckless abandon so I won't be too hard on myself. By that I mean there are places I can go and not feel unsafe or threatened and the number of places is increasing as I progress. I am single and since moving into a place by myself I sense loneliness trying to embed itself in my psyche. I am trying not to let solitude get to me but if there is one thing that I need, it's a little human contact from time to time. I don't mean sex and I don't mean a pat on the back, but if I hug you unexpectedly for no apparent reason, well....that's the reason.

I have noticed the initial shock wearing off my coworkers, although some regard me with a healthy and oftentimes slightly insensitive curiosity. I am no stranger to the testing of relationship boundaries and the way that a lot of my personal life seems open territory for conversation is the side affect of having to wear my life on my sleeve. I am of the mind that people shouldn't ask questions they don't want to know the answers to because I am more than happy to tell someone something that will keep them up at night (like they really need to wonder if I pee sitting down or wear a thong or if I plan on bronzing my testes). I may have mentioned I used to be a bouncer in a bar, hence I have the skills needed to deal with most difficult situations, my sense of humor and patience have served me very well. Although it's perhaps less sophisticated of an approach, I always keep in mind that I might just have to choke someone out if I run out of options.

I have had many different encounters ranging from drunken females trying to see what my bra is stuffed with (which happens to be my breasts) to being scrutinized by a clerk trying to authenticate my identification as I buy cigarettes. I have been asked by children if I am male or female and asked why I talk like a boy (shouldn't you be in school?), I have spent entire evenings with people and found out later that they were unaware I was anything other than a regular female (yay!). I have been told I make people want to throw up and been told I have made people question their sexuality. I have been called bold and told my bravery inspires people and I have been told I am a freak of nature. At the end of the day when I look at myself in the mirror I might be all or none of those things but I see a woman who is finding peace with herself. I would endure far worse for that gift. I guess you could say I'm starting to feel like my new self for a change, Ha!

The point of what I wrote here is simply to share some of my personal experiences. I have managed to survive my first year of transitioning with my sanity and my sense of humor intact. I know I have many challenges ahead of me but I welcome them, they are well worth it to me in the end.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The Beauty of a Woman

The Beauty of a Woman...

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..

***

Beauty Facts on Figures...

~ There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models, and only eight who do.

~ Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14 ?

~ If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all FOURS due to her proportions!

~ The average woman weighs 144 pounds, and wears between a size 12-14.

~ One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder.

~ The Models in the magazines are AIRBRUSHED!!! - NOT Perfect!!

~ A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and SHAMEFUL!

~ Models 20 years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less.

***
An English professor wrote the words: "WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING" on the blackboard, and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, WITHOUT HER MAN, is nothing."
The women wrote: "WOMAN!! WITHOUT HER, man is nothing!"

***

The Images of Mother...

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion!
45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom...

***

A Quantum Focus

Good Day Sisters, I found this piece helpful to me and seemingly very wise so I wanted to share it.

Blessed Be... Amara


Focus On The Solution

According to Quantum Physics, focusing actually causes changes in energy fields that automatically produce a physical change in your surroundings.

Instead of focusing on the problem, you need to focus on the solution — the outcome that you desire. Unfortunately 95% percent of people focus on what they fear, instead of what they want out of life.

It’s kind of like driving down the road and seeing a pothole. If you focus intently on staring at the pothole, intending to miss it, what happens? Of course! You run smack dab into it.

It’s the same in all areas of life. When you focus on your fears, you make them your reality.

Focus on doing exactly what it takes to get the outcome you want.

With that in mind, it’s easy to see that the key to success is this:
The more you focus on what you Want, the more your desires will manifest themselves in your life.

~Excerpted from “Dr. Robert Anthony Reveals How To Use Quantum Physics To Supercharge Your Life”, by Rick Miller. For the full story please visit
http://kjmaclean.com/LawOfAttractionExample.html

Sunday, April 23, 2006

We are the Creators

Leucotea Con Dionisio

We are the creators. Natural law is our medium. Patience, courage, and belief are the colors we need to create the world we truly want.

Do I believe the world I long for is out of my control and beyond my power to change? Or do I believe the world I long for is possible and that my efforts to create such a world will prevail?

How many times have we seen one small person change the world?

Amara

”The Universe only says “Yes” to whatever we’re thinking. Yes, come unto me this thing I Want, and Yes, come unto me this thing I Don’t Want. We attract whatever we choose to give our attention to whether it is Wanted or UN-Wanted.”
~ Abraham-Hicks

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Learning to Love Yourself

It Begins With You...

We've all heard it countless times before, "To experience true love, we first must love ourselves," or some variation of such. However it is stated, the importance of self love is vital to becoming a healthy, whole, human being. We are all children of the universe, created out of love. We accept and love other people, animals, nature, all that comes from the same source as we do. We too then, are worthy of our own love. To honor oneself with love and acceptance is to honor the universe that created us.

Self love is about fully embracing oneself, realizing one's strengths and accepting one's flaws. Self love is not about being self-centered or self-absorbed, which is based on insecurity and not knowing oneself. True self love is a guarantee that we will not succumb to such selfish pursuits. For if we truly love ourselves we know that we do not need to be the best looking, most talented, or have the most possessions. When we love ourselves, we are able to give love freely to others without fear of being hurt or used. We love ourselves enough to not allow others to take advantage of us. And, when we are secure in our love of self, we attract the love of others.

To learn to love yourself, treat yourself the way you treat those you love. Be kind to yourself, giving yourself all that you need to be happy and healthy. Show yourself a good time by doing things you like. Eat well and take care of your body. Say nice things to yourself. Compliment and praise yourself, just as you would a friend, family member, or lover. Encourage yourself when you're feeling down.

And most importantly, say the words that we all long to hear. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I love you." This can be difficult, but it's a powerful tool in acceptance and self love. It may not be easy, you may feel foolish at first, but you can do it. Even if you don't feel it right away, keep doing it. Love yourself first and you will be able to truly love others and to be truly loved in return.

From DailyOm

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

What Is The Point??

My Dearest Sisters,

It has not escaped notice that the majority of you have not yet signed our petition. Presumably there is a reason you are unsupportive of the initiative. A couple of you have contacted me stating misgivings such as "what is the point?" or "what benefit would the trans community get out of this?".

I am actually quite surprised at these questions and the silent resistance that most of you are conveying. I thought "the point" would be obvious, but since it's not, I will do my best to explain.

Question: What is the point of petitioning the only world-wide body which represents peace on earth to recognize you as equal human beings?

1) Violence Against Transwomen is Alarmingly High

Human Rights Campaign claims that 1 out of every 12 transgendered persons in the United States will die by murder. Visibly transgendered sisters have an 8.3% chance of being murdered!!! compared to .0055% chance within the general population. (please bear in mind the statistical validity of this figure is skewed by a very small sample size of the known, visible transgendered population)

Transgender Law Center states that 60% of all transwomen have been subjected to gender hate crimes. This means "the majority" of you will be the victim of violent acts sometime in your life, due to bigotry and hatred of your gender status.

Amnesty International reports grave concern over the number of incidents of police brutality against GLBT in the U.S. Imagine what happens when a transwoman is arrested for loitering, traffic violations, domestic disputes, alleged prostition, or whatever. Is she incarcerated with the female inmates? No.

The crisis is not occurring in the U.S. alone, which is why we need to appeal to a larger body with world-wide influence. In Mexico and South America in particular, transwomen are getting beaten, raped, even shot dead in the streets, usually by police. These stats alone are enough to prove that a serious problem exists. Just imagine all of the unreported cases!!!!!

2.) The United Nations Epitomizes Humanitarian Values

Despite political controversy or deemed ineffectuality, the United Nations is the only body that sets for the standards for equality and proper treatment of human beings around the world. While they have almost zero power to "enforce" these values, they are the key point of reference for all countries whose governments desire to write equal and fair legislation. Policy-makers look to the U.N. for guidelines.

The United Nations sets "the standards", even if only "on paper". For the U.N. itself to utilize gender-biased wording gives carte blanche for any other government to keep such wording intact within their own Charters.

When the U.N. corrects its own gender-bias, the TG community will have "something to hang its hat on" when petitioning local governments to do likewise. Based upon the U.N.'s 2003 "condemnation" of violence against GLBT, it seems the "intent" of the U.N. is recognize "all people" as equal, so they should be called to task about the fact that their very own pinnicle governing document is flawed. What excuse would they have to deny this correction? Therefore this petition has a damn good chance of success.

3.) Recognition by the U.N. Will Shed Light on the Issue

Asking for a revision from "all men and women" to "all people" opens the eyes of the masses who are not aware that anyone other than "men and women" even exist on the planet.

Asking them to include "gender" within the list of attributes for which descrimination is not tolerated, will cause the uninformed to say "what's the difference between gender and sex?", so it will give the opportunity to distinguish between the two. After all, transwomen are not discriminated based on their biological sex (ie male), but rather distain for their expressed gender (ie female).

Note: Rather than asking them to replace the word "sex" with "gender", we are asking them to simply include gender (and leave sex in there too). In retrospect the reason to leave "sex" in there is because genetic women are routinely discriminated based on biologic sex, whereas transwomen are discriminated based on gender. It's best to have both "gender" and "sex" within this definition. The letter has been revised accordingly.

As well, some people may ask "why is the trans community launching a separate petition when GLBT has been working on this for a decade?". The reason is, GLBT are fighting for "freedom of sexual orientation", which does not address the trans issue of "freedom of gender identity". Therefore to have this difference recognized will emphasise to the world that transgenderism is not a sexual orientation (which most uninformed people innocently believe that it is!)

4.) Transgender People Do Not Have A Point of Solidarity

To state the point that "Even those who are neither men nor women are equally human", is something that (I think) all transgendered people and all non-prejudice thinking people could agree upon. What other point would the t-community unilaterally agree upon? We need to keep it really simple, really concise, really obvious.

Although there is much progress being accomplished at a "grass-roots" level (ie: individual efforts within your local communities), the trans community has no world-wide "cause" of its own. It's time to start one. If not by us, then who? If not now, then when?

5) What Benefit Would This Have on the T-Community?

Let's not delude ourselves. The U.N. making this change will not stop the violence. There is no magic wand which will take away these problems overnight. Other than some media attention, the immediate impact on the trans community will be virtually nil. The U.N. cannot enforce these values, it can only exemplify them. Despite any success achieved by this effort, a tremendous amount of progress will still be needed on every front. This is only a starting point. The net benefit of successfully making this change will be the accomplishment of one little baby step in the right direction.

~~~~~

I hope my dissertation has successfully convinced you to lend support to this petition. You are equal human beings. This much is obvious to me, and should be to you as well. For those of you who still withhold your support of this effort, I would like to know WHY? Please elaborate on your reasons, either in the comments section of this article, or to me privately, as I must be missing something.

If your reason is "I don't put much faith in the U.N.", the question is whether your own political views are so strong that you would deny the merits of this cause? If this is the case, I'm not much interested in hearing your reasons for political distain of the U.N., but what I do want to hear is your ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS.

The question to ask yourself is this: "Are transgendered people equal to men and women??" If your answer is "yes", then we will look forward to seeing your signature on the petition.

http://transgenderunity.blogspot.com

With love,
Michele Angelique

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Transgender Petition to the United Nations

As citizens of the world, we petition the United Nations to revise the Universal Declaration of Human Rights from "all women and men" to "all people". The United Nations stands for human equality and freedom from discrimination for any reason, including gender. Yet the term "women and men" is exclusionary of all people whose gender cannot be described by either category.

We also urge that you change the term "sex" to "gender", within Article 2, "Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status."

The transgender population of the world is rapidly growing, yet we face grave misunderstanding, prejudice and injustice on a daily basis. In the absence of recognition as a distinct and equal subset of humanity, transgendered people do not receive equal protection under common law or human rights. Many instances can be referenced where transgender people were not afforded equal rights nor freedoms, and have been subjected to atrocious and inhumane treatment at the hands of law makers and society at large. (See links at right)

We urge the United Nations to take a leading role in including the transgender population through use of the phrase "all people", rather than excluding them by using the term "all women and men". This simple step would go a long way in setting precidents for the equal recognition and protection of all human beings of the world.

EXISTING TERMINOLOGY

Preamble: "Whereas the peoples of the United Nations have in the Charter reaffirmed their faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person and in the equal rights of men and women."

Article 2: "Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status."

Article 16(1): "Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.

PROPOSED TERMINOLOGY:

Preamble: "Whereas the peoples of the United Nations have in the Charter reaffirmed their faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person and in the equal rights of all people."

Article 2: "Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, gender, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status."

Article 16(1): "People of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.






For more information and to sign the petition: http://transgenderunity.blogspot.com


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Beauty and the Brain

GenderEvolve

I've always considered myself an intelligent, thinking person. I've rated the cerebral more important than other considerations in dealing with people. Heck, my top considerations for finding a wife were that she was well read and I could have conversations. I'm fairly tolerant Gay, Straight, White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Male, Female, but I do not suffer fools lightly. I've been characterized as one of those people who is too smart for their own good.

I suppressed my transgender inclinations for so long partly because of the perceived "moral" implications, but in point of fact, to me it just made no sense. Engaging in an activity that would make me the target of people’s negative attention, when I felt I had a choice in the matter, seemed rather stupid. It made no sense to me to put on make up, clothes etc. to just stay at home and look in the mirror, so why do it? I could not even imagine going out in public as I do now.

My wife, of course, provided an answer; I did not seem like a whole person. The whole cross dressing experience was begun to drag myself out of my walls and defense mechanisms. Of course we could not conceive of what it means. I have not yet arrived but am in the course of change.

As a Guy I was not particularly concerned with my appearance. Just another face in the crowd, not the leading man but a character actor playing the role required. At times I was “Mr. Cellophane” from the song in the musical “Chicago”. In the Army I did not have the shiniest shoes or sharpest creases.

Spending 38 years thinking about being a woman does not prepare one for really for taking steps in Transgendered shoes. Since I did not really think I would ever let myself be a cross dresser I could not picture how I would look. I anticipated something that would lead people to laugh. I’m just another guy after all.

The first time I dressed full En Femme I was surprised, I looked better than I expected. My wife was upset that my legs looked good in heels and hose. The first of the emotional baggage to be acquired was vanity.

Considering that I have thrown all of society’s standards away, by presenting myself En Femme, why do I feel the need to conform to the cultures standards of feminine beauty? Even hear at Gender Evolve, I look at my lovely sisters and see my own appearance as not good enough. I do want to look pretty.

Partly I want to look pretty because all my life my appearance has not been worth positive comment. Even as I started this several days ago, recent posts impact my thoughts. Vanity is thought by many to be the Cross dressers down fall.

From Alysyn’s Ego's 7 Dominating Messages:

2. The ego says, "Your thoughts are very important." The Holy Spirit insists, "Only thoughts you think with God are real - nothing else matters." This teaching explains that thougts centering on ourselves, appearance, possessions, fears, or relationship problems are not only unimportant, they're not real. Ouch! The ego flinches at such commentary. But if we examine these thoughts from Spirit's infinite perspective, we see that...when we were totally immersed in-Spirit, we only had thoughts of Spirit because that's all we were; when we left It behind, we opted for thoughts that our ego told us were important.

Gee, this really cuts to the quick. Exactly, why do I seem to care so much about how I look? Certainly, I should look my best, but how I compare to other women should be insignificant. It may very well have been true that had I started cross dressing 15 years ago I may have looked prettier; but here I am at 40; why cry over spilled Make up? God loves me, my wife loves me (no matter how I’m dressed) and my kids love me (they’ll even say I look pretty). Appearance is fleeting the things of the spirit are eternal.

But on the opposite shoulder from Alysyn is Felicia:

Imagine yourself as a five-foot-five, slim, curvaceous, and amazingly attractive woman, the best looking woman in the casino night club, a fem fatale……As we left the nightclub at 6:30 a.m., I could not help but reflect on how Tori had shown me the power of the feminine not only in her attraction of the opposite sex, but more importantly in her taking the risk to openly advocate for transgendered people. While she could have easily stayed in stealth mode, she chose to risk speaking the truth of who she is and where it is she comes from. This was a valuable life lesson and one that I will cherish.

Face it the pretty amongst us have advantages. Part of my feelings are that if I look good enough I will gain more acceptance. I already have no problem telling people I’m transgender, I just don’t have the good looks to captivate my audience. There definitely is something to say about beauty; the inside variety is easier to notice sometimes when the skin deep variety dazzles.

Alysyn whispers in reply:

Starting today, shun the world's ideal of beauty, because it's constantly changing. Cleopatra longed for varicose veins, Middle Age beauties padded their bellies. Don't wait for the world to celebrate you. Carve your own niche. Focus on what's great, forget what's not. Find joy in your own reflection. Instead of obsessing about a body that's impossible to achieve without a personal trainer, begin to discover how you can feel better about living in the one you now inhabit.

Take good care of myself. Do my best. Don’t worry about not meeting the worlds present standards. As Michele said: “I believe Trans is going to become the next hottest thing!” Maybe I am ahead of a trend. Maybe I will be chic just for being who I am; the best version me I can be. It’s tough to not be just a little jealous of Tori though. How is a girl to make sense of all this.

In much pondering,

Samantha Leigh

Love and Honor Your Body

GenderEvolve

The body is a sacred garment. It's your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor. --Martha Graham


"Which comes first, learning to love our bodies or possessing a positive body image? Either way, it works. If you don't possess a positive body image - and most of us don't - learning to love our body can help you develop one. 'If you can learn to like how you look, and not the way you think you look,' Gloria Steinem assures us, 'it can set you free.'

The time has come for us to realize that until we work in increasing our self-esteem by loving ourselves in small ways, we can't begin changing ourselves for the better in big ways. We must start by choosing to break the self-destructive cycle of unrealistic expectations, especially our own.

Starting today, shun the world's ideal of beauty, because it's constantly changing. Cleopatra longed for varicose veins, Middle Age beauties padded their bellies. Don't wait for the world to celebrate you. Carve your own niche. Focus on what's great, forget what's not. Find joy in your own reflection. Instead of obsessng about a body that's impossible to achieve without a personal trainer, begin to discover how you can feel better about living in the one you now inhabit.

Learn firsthand the transforming power of nurture over nature. Nourish your body with healthy food and pure water. Slow down and remember to breathe before taking a bite. Breathe out stress and negativity, breathe in oxygen and positive energy. Rediscover how marvelous it is simply to move: stretch, dance, walk, run, jump, skip, play, embrace. Pamper your body with comfortable clothes, quiet moments, and soothing beauty rituals.

'A woman's relationship with her body is the most important relationship she'll ever have. More important than husband, lover, children, friends, colleagues. This isn't selfishness - it's just fact,' health and fitness expert Diana K. Roesch tells us. 'The body is, quite literally, our vehicle for being - for giving, for moving, for feeling - and if it doesn't work, it's fairly certain that nothing else in our lives will work, either.'

Today, instead of hating your body, make peace with it. Choose to consciously love and honor the sacred garment Spirit provided for this lifetime's journey"

--Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy



Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A Life Lesson in Trans-Femininity

Imagine yourself as a five-foot-five, slim, curvaceous, and amazingly attractive woman, the best looking woman in the casino night club, a fem fatale. It’s after hours, but the club is bustling with activity. Now see yourself saunter like a feline into the center bar filled to maximum capacity with all sorts of upscale ladies and gents. Imagine that all eyes fixate on your every movement, on your curves, on your lovely feminine features. You take your place at the bar as two seats open up for you and your friend like the parting of the Red Sea.

Without even getting the chance to settle in, you are immediately approached by a dark, mysterious looking stranger, and then another, and then another. In fact, a half dozen men are vying for your attention simultaneously each trying to outdo their competitors to get close to you, to win some conversation time with you. The women examine you from afar, admiringly and often with envy.

For the next several hours, you are inundated by countless offers, requests, and proposals, some decent and some of them not. Did I hear one of the strangers ask you to marry him? Does this sound like a daydream, a reverie, a fantasy, or something out of a Danielle Steele novel, maybe a description from the life of the Lucky character in the Jackie Collins series, you ask?

I must confess that such a portrayal sounds unlikely, a trite exaggeration, perhaps. Rest assured that this is not a fictional account, but a reality, and one that I witnessed this past Friday evening in the company of Tori Holden of Orlando who was visiting South Florida. The scene was the Seminole Hard Rock Casino night club center bar in Hollywood.

Much more remarkable than her physical presence was her spiritual essence for Tori was not there to meet or to pick up anyone and made it quite clear to each of her would be suitors that she was madly in love with the love of her life and was not interested in their advances whatsoever. And even more staggering was her statement to each of her straight admirers that she is a proud transgendered woman. Though this statement was usually met with initial denial or disbelief, as the conversations progressed, it became apparent that such a statement did little to deter her interested suitors. In fact, I had to console a dark haired and exotic young guy who was afraid that he must be gay because of his strong attraction to a transgendered person. He indicated he has no interest in guys whatsoever. I assured him that he was not gay and that he was in good company. He was one in a long parade of interested straight guys who had approached Tori that evening.

As we left the nightclub at 6:30 a.m., I could not help but reflect on how Tori had shown me the power of the feminine not only in her attraction of the opposite sex, but more importantly in her taking the risk to openly advocate for transgendered people. While she could have easily stayed in stealth mode, she chose to risk speaking the truth of who she is and where it is she comes from. This was a valuable life lesson and one that I will cherish.

Felicia Conti

Beautiful Fields




A sacred ground where many holy wars have been fought
My teachers told me long ago, the war to end all wars would be fought here
The blood that has fed this ground for millennia is mine
What a beautiful field this land has become
Its rolling pastures betrays its bloody past and its dangerous remains
Yet I still crawl across its rich and fertile soil with javelin scar on my side
For there are many, many mines in places to numerous to remember
And though the war has been fought and won on this front
I must remove the traps of death I laid in the distant and violent past
In silence I find them as I inch my way forward
With my dagger prodding the gentile earth
With each sink of the blade I close my eye
Yet with expert skill, I still await the blast that has fallen many
In my quite and tranquil fields
I have not forgotten, Lord knows I have not forgotten
A great iron thunderbolt, a gigantic messenger of death in the ski
That rained pain and longing on my mortal soul
My field is rich now and it will feed many
Olive groves on the western slope and vineyards that face the morning sun
Apricots and figs, and all that is sweet and true
Because I drank the black soup during the wars of old
Now I wear my amazon’s cloak only to keep warm
My bow is only for the sparrow
As I walk in my beautiful field as the evening begins to fall
I look back at the earth that has been cleared for fruit trees and garden and crystal streams
There are no more weapons to be laid


"The Secret" ~ Campari Ad

Take a look at this beautiful gender-bending Campari ad, entitled "The Secret", in light of the following exciting information...

This Campari ad was a Finalist for the Epica 2005 Awards which is Europe's Premier Creative Awards. It was created in Great Britain by Radical.Media for BBDO Milan. It was awarded a Silver medal in the Film category. See the very unique and flashy Campari website. The company even provides a PDF version of "The Secret" for download

It's exciting to note the huge world-wide corporate players who commissioned the production of this piece. BBDO is the lead agency in Omnicom's portfolio. The group has long held a commanding position as one of the world's most prestigious networks, with 290 offices in 77 countries. Its regional agencies are among the most admired in their local market, for example the UK's AMV BBDO or Australia's Clemenger.

The agency is widely admired for the quality of its creative work, and regularly features among the winners in advertising festivals around the globe. Excluding specialised marketing subsidiaries, Advertising Age ranked BBDO as the #3 agency network worldwide in 2004 with revenues of $1.3bn.

The high film quality and artistic value evidenced a high budget, and they represented T in a very classy and alluring way. I believe Trans is going to become the next hottest thing! Call me optimistic, delusional or downright crazy, but in a few years when you're shaking your heads in disbelief, just remember crazy little old me who saw it coming!

But I'll never say "I told ya so"... promise.

<3~ Michele

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Ego's 7 Dominating Messages

(Adapted from the book "Inspiration", by Dr. Wayne Dyer)

(Aly's note: I found this chapter very intruiguing, and wanted to share it with everyone here. I'm sure we'll all take different things from it, or nothing at all, but here it is for your consideration...)

"1. The ego says, "You're a body." The Holy Spirit says, "You're not even a person -you're just like Me, your Source of being." This teaching shows that our ego insists we're impermanent, which is opposed to our being what Lao-tzu (the mystical teacher of the 6th century B.C.) taught: that which never changes. ...everything we experience [on Earth], including our body, returns to dust to be recycled by Spirit. Our ego finds this concept impossible to accept.

2. The ego says, "Your thoughts are very important." The Holy Spirit insists, "Only thoughts you think with God are real - nothing else matters." This teaching explains that thougts centering on ourselves, appearance, possessions, fears, or relationship problems are not only unimportant, they're not real. Ouch! The ego flinches at such commentary. But if we examine these thoughts from Spirit's infinite perspective, we see that...when we were totally immersed in-Spirit, we only had thoughts of Spirit because that's all we were; when we left It behind, we opted for thoughts that our ego told us were important.

3. Your ego says, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." The Holy Spirit asserts, "God only gives and never takes away." When living an inspired life, we're focused on giving our life away and simultaniously observing how it's returned, thus fortifying the idea of what goes around comes around. Ego is constantly telling us to be fearful about losing what we have and warning us of greedy others who'll take what's ours - but God doesn't take away from us. As we learn to think this way, we attract more of what's missing in our life...We become what we think about. If we think about giving, like God does, the Universe will provide. If we think about things being taken away, then that's what we'll attract.

4. The ego says, "There's good and bad." The Holy Spirit maintains, "There's nothing to judge because it isn't real in the first place." When we accept the ego identification card, we agree to judge almost everyone and everything in terms of good or bad. The problem with this is that we all contain the same Spirit from which we originated. If I make you bad and myself good, for instance, I deny the presence of Spirit in you whom I elected to judge.

5. The ego directs love and hate toward individuals. The Holy Spirit's love is nonspecific and all-encompassing. Ego directs us to love some, be indifferent toward many, and hate all others. When we learn to be back in-Spirit on a full-time basis, we discover what we knew in our pre-ego time: There is no "they," there is only "one." The one Source of all-encompassing love knows nothing of boundaries; differing customs; geographic divivsions; family splits; or differences in race, creed, sex, and so on - It only knows love for all. Ego...may retort, "How can you love those who would harm you and are your declared enemies?" When your ego speaks in this way, recall the words of Jesus: "You have heard that it was said 'love your neighbor and hate your enemy'" (Matthew 5:43). This is how ego works - it tells you to divide your love for some and offer your hate to others. Yet Jesus, who lived totally in-Spirit, goes on to say, "But I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be [children] of your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:44-45).

6. The ego devises clever reasons why we should continue to listen to its selfish counsel. The Holy Spirit is certain that at some point we'll turn toward It and ultimately return. Ego will tout its irresistible logic to assure us that our body, our possessions, and our achievements are all very real and important. It convinces us by insisting that what's real is what we can see, touch, hear, taste, and smell; therefore, invisible Spirit isn't real. So ego continues to be attached to stuff and to make the acquisition of money and power a life-long objective. To that end, it wants us to disdain forgiveness in favor of seeking revenge - very persuasive logic when we look around and see almost everyone doing just that. Through the lens of inspiration, however, we're able to see how ego has dostorted the message of the Holy Spirit - instead of seeking revenge, we're more likely to see a very sad nation of strivers and virtually no arrivers...As we return to the Holy Spirit, we'll no longer be under the influence of ego's absurd counsel.


7. The ego wants us to regret our past. The Holy Spirit wants us to practice unconditional forgiveness. The Holy Spirit isn't limited by a past or a future - there's only the eternal now. Any energy we place on what transpired in the past is ground-work for guilt, and ego loves guilt. Such negative energy fabricates an excuse for why our present moments are troubled and gives us a cop-out, a reason to stay out of Spirit. And thinking about where we've been or what we did wrong in the past are great impediments to an inspired life.
On the other hand, when we're inspired, we're totally engaged in the now. In an infinite...Universe there can be no past. All guilt and regret simply serve as ways to avoid being here in the only moment we have, which is now. This is where we reconnect to Spirit - now. If we choose to use up this holy instant with regrets about a past that's only an illusory thought, then we're unable to be in the joyful, loving, peaceful, present moment. Cramming this holy moment with thoughts of guilt, remorse, and regret is great for ego....and keeps us totally resistant to being in-Spirit. "

Thursday, April 06, 2006

My Son Wears My Clothes



“Mom can I go through your make-up drawers and take some stuff you’re not using anymore?”
“Mom can I borrow some of your clothes?”
“Mom does my hair look all right?”
“Mom do you have any shoes that would fit me?”
“Mom do these clothes look good together?”

These are some of the questions I have been asked over the years from not my daughter, but my teenage son.

When he was growing up I missed all the signs that my son could possibly be transgendered. Perhaps it’s because I am such an open person and always tried to encourage my kids to be who ever they wanted to be and to follow their dreams. I have never hid my trans friends from them. I wanted them to grow up accepting everyone and I believe I have accomplished that task. They thought nothing of coming home from school and finding me and a bunch of tgirls sitting in the living room gabbing. They were never embarrassed to invite their friends over were mine were there. Even when they were old enough to make choices for themselves, they had no problem going to Malls with my friends and me.

When my son was growing up, I quite often found my daughters dolls in his room. I always just assumed that my daughter must have been playing in there and left them there.
Sometimes I would find eye shadow in his room, but he was always so artistic and always used different materials to draw pictures I assumed he was using the eye shadow as some sort of paint. I found my clothes in his room sometimes too. I assumed the laundry was put away wrong. I have known about transgender people for years. How is it that I could miss such obvious signs? Is it because I am so supportive and it never would have mattered anyway?

When my son was still a toddler he used to love to sit next to me while I put on my make-up. He would stare at me in awe and quite often mimic the gestures of me putting on make-up with his fingers on his face. He got a hold of my lipstick when he was three. He didn’t just stop at his lips, his entire body was covered in lipstick.

It wasn’t until he was about 16 that I considered the fact he might be transgendered. He was always borrowing my clothes, not dresses or skirts, he preferred my pants and shirts.
He spent more time putting his make-up on in the morning and doing his hair then I did. I have never known anyone that could go through as much hair spray as him. He loved to make his long locks into big 8o’s hair. One time he came home from hanging with friends and he was dressed to the nines heels, stockings, and the works. I looked at him and said “You look pretty Princess, got tired of my clothes and borrowed someone else’s I see” He said to me “My gf thought it would be fun to dress me up and show me off at the library. How the heck do you walk in these heels without killing yourself? How on earth can chicks wear thongs? I can’t get these off fast enough.”

I sat and wondered that night. Could my son possibly be tg? Not to many teenage boys I know would go out dressed like that or wear the make-up and clothes he does every day. I always taught him to never be afraid to be himself. Then I wondered if I had any part of making him tg by surrounding himself with tg people most of his life. I wondered if it was my fault that he came home beat up all the time after being called “fag” because he chose to dress feminine. I realized you can’t make someone transgendered, its just the way they are born. I said my prayers and asked God to guide my son it what ever direction he found best for him and went to sleep.

My son is 19 now and still prefers girl’s clothes to boys. His clothes of choice are girl’s jeans and t-shirts. He still spends way more time getting ready then I do. He has had so much trouble finding a job because of the way he chooses to dress. He has finally found one in a night club. His favourite hang out is my favourite tg bar. His friends and girl friends all accept him. It makes no difference to me what he wears. I love him unconditionally.

I would never dream of using “he” when talking to any of my tg friends. It’s funny that I use “he” when talking about my son. He still likes to be addressed by his male name, Mike. Perhaps that’s why.

A mother’s love is unconditional. Who ever or what ever my children decide to be, decide to wear, decide to marry. I am there for them. I know that the world I have shown my children will be the world they one day show their children.


~Sweet~

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I Emailed The United Nations

I emailed the United Nations today. I am not sure how far it will go or if they will even read it but at least I tried and I will keep trying.


Dear Secretary General, Members of State and Representatives.

After reading through the Declaration of human rights, I believe it is of utmost importance to request an International Transgender day.
There are far too many hate crimes against individuals in the TG Community. These include physical attacks, verbal abuse and even murder. The road to recognizing and understanding Transgender people must begin somewhere. The sooner this happens, the better.
Transgender people should not have to live in fear. You're Declaration of rights states:
"Article 1.All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Article 2.Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.
Article 3.Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
Article 5.No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment."
These people suffer cruelty every day of their lives. I believe educating people on what it means to be transgender needs to be taught as part of the sex education curriculum in schools.
Society does not fully understand what it means to be transgender and because of the unknown and misconceptions, this is where the hate crimes come from.
Transgender is a term used by people that feel that the gender they were assigned at birth does not correspond with their gender identity.
Within the transgender category, there are several subcategories. Transsexuals are people whose gender identity is in conflict with his/her biological sex to the degree that transitioning and possibly sex reassignment surgery are desired. Crossdressers wear the clothing of another sex on occasion, but do not desire to change their bodies. Other groups of people who feel that they do not fit into a rigid gender system may identify as Genderqueers, Androgynes, Gender Blenders or Gender Benders. These people may feel that they are both male and female or that their gender identity falls outside the system all together.
Being transgender is not directly correlated with a person's sexual orientation. Transgender individuals may identify as straight, gay, asexual or bisexual. Some transgender people strongly identify with the lesbian, gay or bisexual community, while others identify more with the straight community.
We must do everything in our power to prevent the discrimination and violence transgender people experience.

I appreciate your help with this urgent matter.

Thank You So Much

Sincerely,
~Sweet~ ( I signed my real name don't worry)


I sent this almost a month ago and I have not had any replies except for a computer generated confirmation email telling me they received my email. I decided to start a petition. I am hoping that when they see a lot of signatures that it will help to show them how very important this is. Please sign the petition and pass on the link to all your friends.

Until we hear from the U.N why don't we make our own special International T day. It won't be recognized on calendars but it will be embedded in the hearts of transgender people every where if we spread the word. I think we should make it the day Gender Evolve was created. It will be a day that we can look back and see what we have accomplished and look forward in anticipation of even greater achievements.

Michele had the awesome idea of creating a logo for International Transgender Day. So what do you think? Should we start without the U.N ?

Hugs,
~Sweet~

April 1st: Playing Dress-up: Empowering Your Authentic Self with Fun


"Learn the craft of knowing how to open your heart and to turn on your creativity. There's a light inside of you." ---Judith Jamison


"Today - All Fool's Day - is a day that for centuries has been associated with high spirits and merriment. It's a perfect day for us to remember the importance of lightening up. A lighthearted sense of spontaneity is closely aligned with Spirit. Think of the brother who makes you laugh or the friend who will call you up and ask you to meet her on the spur of the moment for an ice-cream cone. Don't you just love to be in their company?

Lighthearted people possess the special gift, as dancer Judith Jamison tells us, of being able to open up their hearts to life and turn on their creativity. Perhaps it is because these special people still honor the child within. This sacred craft of Knowing is one that we can gradually learn to nurture on the path we have chosen.

Children love to play dress-up. Think of the excitement of a little boy putting together his constume at Halloween or a little girl lost in the pleasure of exploring her mother's closet and jewelry box on a rainy afternoon. Today we're going to play dress-up, too. I love to indulge in this pastime in the spring and in the fall when I change my seasonal wardrobe. It's fun to play dress-up by yourself or in the company of an accomplice, such as your daughter or a close friend. (Be forewarned, however, that with your daughter, you'll frequently hear enquiries such as, "Do you still want this?" Yes, you do.)

Look at your pared-down wardrobe with fresh eyes. Small changes can have a big impact on your look. Try jackets on with different skirts and pants and see if you can't put together new outfits. Try pairing a lean, tailored crepe jacket wit a flounced skirt. Instead of always wearing the burgundy print silk blouse you bought to go with your navy suit, try a white cotton one with a lace jabot and big cuffs. If you normally wear your collars open, try wearing them closed with a pretty pin at the neck. A new you? Why not? Now pull your hair back and see what dangle earrings look like. Get out your shoes. Do you always wear plain pumps with your suits? What about switching to wedge suede sandals? Work with whatever you've got. Have fun with this exercise. Think seven years old. Think 'what the heck!'

Gail Sheehy tells us that 'the delights of self-discovery are always available.' All Fools Day is a perfect day to engrave this widsom in our hearts."

--from Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach