With Each Tear

By Brianna Austin

Life had changed forever on that first day, when I stepped into those dainty shoes that gracefully extended the arch of my foot. A feeling washed through me like none I have ever experienced before, and it would tease and confuse me for decades to come. I walked tentative at first, and then with a sway of confidence that transformed my very being, or perhaps released that which was there all along.

With each tear, devoid of the pretense that manhood often dictates, I could see myself for the first time, and life was beautiful. I could hear the heartbeat of life all around me and now touch those emotions that had previously been only for the viewing -- protected, or trapped, behind the glass wall – always in sight, never within reach.

Emerging from behind the mask of a life not truly mine, yet inadvertently one of my own design, I stood naked before the world, refreshed and unafraid. I was confronted with the truth of me, as only I knew it, while others could only look on with bemused wonderment, concern or disdain. Still, after such a long journey I was surprised to find myself back at the beginning -- wiser perhaps, possessing deeper understanding of myself -- yet again searching for missing pieces of that elusive puzzle, and I realized that nothing is for certain and everything is subject to change.


Re: With Each Tear

Dearest Brieanna,

I just want to take a moment to say thanks for this beautiful post. You are an amazing writer, very eloquent, able to paint a picture with words. Your writing makes people think. Within the span of only a few short paragraphs, you convey very deep introspection and inner truths. Brevity is often the soul of wit, and the ability to powerfully project a very intricately woven message in such a concise fashion requires skill. Your writing also has a poetic feel to it. Even your darker writing contains at least a glimmer of hope and/or inspiration, along with a positive underlying message.

In regard to this piece specifically, I'd just like to say a few things. I think it's courageous to break outside the boundaries of societal norms in search of your true self. In doing so, you may find you return full circle to the point of origination, yet you are all the wiser from the journey. One of the hallmarks of an evolving human is the willingness and ability to welcome change.

Thank you again Brieanna, for shining your light here at GenderEvolve. We can learn much from your example.

Much love,

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