What keeps you from being Happy?

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What prevents us from being happy?

I believe the answer is quite simple. Every person on this planet who is not happy are all suffering from one emotion. It is the cause of all wars, racism, crime, and hate. What a powerful emotion it must be to be responsible for all of that negativity. That emotion is fear and it is affecting you in ways you may not even be aware of at the moment. Fear of failure, fear of being alone, and fear of what people will think. Have you stopped and looked at the people you are afraid might judge you? Are their lives in a place where you would like to someday be? If not, then why are you concerned with their opinion? They will judge you out of envy and ignorance. They see you succeed and they want that for themselves. But they do not want to take action to succeed. They will say you are lucky, or spoon fed, or more attractive. They will die with a million excuses as to why their life didn't turn out like yours... but they are just excuses. I would much rather die with reasons why my life was great instead of excuses why my life was not.

If you take a chance what is the worse that can happen to you? You fail. Sure there are a bunch of other details but ultimately the thing you remember is the feeling of failure. Do you know what failure is? It is feedback. You take action and the Universe gives you feedback. Failure implies the end of your efforts. To never try is to truly fail. Everything that happens to you in life whether you want to call it luck, tragedy, or failure is merely a lesson. You are the person you see today because of your experiences. You cannot know something without having experienced it first hand. So if you want to be something different but are afraid to take a chance you will never change. Positive thinking, affirmations, and prayers will not change your life without action. Without action those are just words created by man formed into a nice little phrase. You have to show the Universe your intentions.

Would you like to learn there is nothing to fear? How powerful would you be if you realized there was nothing to fear? What would you change? What is shaping your life today? Your life today is the outcome of your thinking and beliefs up to this point. What are beliefs?

Our parents beliefs passed down + our life experiences + our current level or awareness



So basically how we view our past is what shapes our lives today. What is your current level of awareness? How are your beliefs affecting your life?


We believe what our parents taught us which was passed down by their parents and so on and so on. Does that mean we are destined to live out our lives with these beliefs? You were taught most of your beliefs when you were a sponge with no judgment. You probably thought the tooth fairy existed and that babies came from storks. The fact that Santa was not real did not make him any less real to you as a child. When your parents told you he was not real you probably cried but your belief changed. Beliefs are not hard coded. As you got older and people started to lie to you more frequently you began to form judgment. Now you didn't believe everything you were told. You formed your own opinion based on past experiences. This became a shield to protect you from hurting or being mislead. It became part of your toolkit for survival. You became afraid of the hurt associated with dishonesty and betrayal. So you began forming beliefs to shelter you from pain. Do you have beliefs that aid you in survival but are self defeating?


What we focus on becomes reality. For example, Eric is in the market for a new automobile. He is shopping around and a certain model catches his eye. He decides to purchase it. It is perfect for him and he has never really seen them on the road so it is not too common. Curious thing though as Eric was driving his new automobile he notices that specific model several times over the next few days. Were there less cars of that model on the road before his purchase? No. Eric was simply not aware of them. When his focus shifted he became aware of that specific model all around him. Using that example do you focus on more negative aspects of life or more positive aspects of life? If you focus on negative aspects I bet you can guess what you notice more in the world around you? Ever see those happy people that always seem like they are on something. What do you think they are focusing on? Stop for a second and notice your breathing or your heartbeat. Did you heart just start beating or did you simply just shift your awareness.


Have you noticed when two people walk they tend to synchronize their steps. Go to a local mall and just observe. Have you ever noticed when you pass someone they often speed up to stay right next to you. I am not referring to the people who are being difficult but the people who gradually sync with you like when driving on a freeway long distances. Synchronicity is common in all things. Through the use of binaural beats scientists have learned that our brain will sync with frequencies when they are noticed by the brain. So do we sync with thoughts as well? After all thoughts are just frequencies. Have you noticed in the presence of some people you cannot help but feel happy or excited? When you are around negative people do you notice that you might be more negative? Do you act one way around certain friends and act completely different around others? We sync with our environment. So what can you do? Do you hide somewhere and avoid your friends who are always negative? No. Change your perception. Know that those people are just experiencing life through a set of filters you do not have. Love everyone even the nasty people. The nasty people do not know how powerful they are and they live life as a victim. They are not aware they are an infinite being of love and compassion. They live life as if their past or present defines them. These people are doing the best they can with the resources they have available. Be aware of the negative but do not sync with it. Do not hate. Do not judge. Do not criticize. For you will surely sync with those feelings.


It is impossible to avoid negativity in this day and age. You can however choose not to react to it. Control your emotions. Every person in your life that troubles you is testing you. The person you are irritated by most is your best teacher. Complaining, whining, and placing blame does not help solve anything and stifles your personal and spiritual growth. Every challenge you face whether big or small should be viewed as a challenge. For without challenge we would not grow. Harboring negative thoughts and feelings for others makes your body ill. It pollutes the mind. It clouds your judgment. People who are negative are neither happy nor successful. After all the definition of success is happiness. You can be rich with money but poor in happiness. You see that all the time in Hollywood.


Why do you think fads and trends exist? They are distractions. People who meditate are usually successful and happy. But it requires you to sit still and do nothing for a period of time. Meditation for some is to be without distraction. Western culture is all about distraction. Ask yourself this. Are you happy? What distractions do you have that prevent you from being happy? People run from this question and stay distracted. They settle in relationships that do not make them happy and they end up settling in every aspect of their life. They stay distracted until the day they die with mountains of regret. For some security even if negative is better than pursuing happiness since there is no guarantee. Addiction is a distraction. Some people are so afraid to pursue their happiness they would rather die an addict. It is not that hard to attain a state of happiness but people are afraid they might not find it. Addiction becomes an excuse for inexcusable behavior and ultimately a reason why their life isn't turning out right. Is it that hard to take control of your life and be happy? Addiction is not limited to drugs. Lust, love, and anger are addictive. The same neural receptors for love are shared with chocolate and heroin!

The Brain

What an amazing tool we all possess though very few use it to its full potential. How very little most people know about the brain. The subconscious mind processes about 40 million bits of information every second. It is responsible for monitoring the operations of the body, motor functions, and literal thinking. The subconscious is habitual and timeless. It only understands present time. It also stores our past experiences, attitudes, values, and beliefs. The conscious mind on the other hand is time bound in other words either past or future. The conscious mind is responsible for volition and abstract thinking. The conscious mind can only process about 200 bits per second. Our subconscious mind filters out most of our surroundings since the conscious mind is so limited in its processing capabilities. So if we use the example above you do not notice that specific car model because the subconscious mind filters it out. When you give attention to something the subconscious mind then sets a filter to notice it and does not filter it out. Do you now understand why affirmations, prayers, and positive thinking exist? If you give attention to positive and growth related ideas what will the subconscious make you aware of?

Fight or Flight a.k.a. Acute Stress Response

You probably learned about fight or flight while in school. Walter Cannon in 1929 described it as animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing. Fast forward nearly 100 years and biologists have improved upon this simplistic theory. The visceral cavity is home to all our major organs. When the body is presented with a threatening situation the adrenal glands will release a hormone that will squeeze the blood vessels in the viscera. The squeezing of these vessels sends the blood from the viscera to the limbs. If you are running from a lion your muscles need the blood to get you to safety. When the blood is rerouted from the viscera things like your immune system are weakened. No need for fighting a cold when a lion is chasing you. In addition to the viscera being affected the blood in the forebrain is routed to the hind brain. You are more likely to need reflex and coordination more so than the ability to solve mathematical problems. In biology there are three states a cell can be in growth, neutral or protection. A growth state in which the viscera and fore brain are being supplied with blood properly. A protection state where the blood is being rerouted from the viscera to the limbs and hind brain. When you are in a stressful situation you are less intelligent. Imagine being in a constant state of protection. Have you ever noticed that people who are always stressed out fall victim to illness more often that those that are not stressed out? It is not magic or that the person has better genes. It is simple science. Love has been proven to be beneficial to a child's growth and development more so than even nutrients. A child who is loved will grow more than a child who has proper nutrition but is neglected. You cannot be in a state of growth and be in a state of protection at the same time. What state do you live in?

FEAR Is A Tool

Everywhere you look on television, in newspapers, and on the Internet there is a reoccurring theme. FEAR! It is a tool to enslave people. Don't you find it odd that science has proven we are energy bodies and that energy cannot be created or destroyed but most people live in fear of dying? When Theodosius converted to Christianity and declared it the only valid religion of the state during the Roman Empire do you think it was out of love for the people? He declared one religion official over all others. Is that an empowering belief for humanity? You minimize others who do not share your beliefs. You break the communication with your fellow man and judge all others. It makes you skeptical about others based on their beliefs but worse yet it makes you fear death. It puts you in a constant state of fight or flight. Who benefits from the fear campaign taking place in the media? Who benefits from making you afraid of death? The masses are enslaved by fear and biology proves we are getting sicker and less intelligent as a result.

Genes DO NOT Control Biology

The human genome project was supposed to give us a blueprint of the human body. The scientists thought they would have blueprints to make any organ. What they found out is only 1/5 of the genes that were required based on their assumptions were there. We also found out the Bonobo Chimpanzee is a 98% match to human DNA. Oops... :) Not all was lost though we also learned that genes do not control biology. Your perception of the environment controls your biology not your genes. How do you perceive your environment?

The Power of Intent

Dr. Emaru Emoto has discovered that our intention can alter the physical properties of water. The human body is over 70% water and our brain is over 80% water. If our thoughts affect water how do they affect our physical bodies or more importantly our brain? Dr. William A. Tiller has discovered that our intention can alter matter. Now listen to that voice in your head. Is it spewing positive and productive thoughts or is it dwelling in the past which is gone forever. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow will never get here because it becomes today. Today is the only moment in time that is important. What are you intentions?

What Is Real?

We are made up of energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. Everything is made of energy. Wait... this desk I am sitting at is hard and made of wood not energy. Actually the desk is made up of billions of atoms which are not solid. Your intent that it is solid keeps it solid. If you neglect something over time it starts to falls apart. Your neglect for that object and lack of intention and focus makes the object break down. You literally create everything you see around you. When science started to study sub atomic particles they discovered that the deeper they delve the less and less was there. Matter is just vibrating energy. Our thoughts are frequencies. A study using athletes running a race who were hooked up to EEG machines produced specific and unique brainwave patterns. The second part of the study was to hook these same athletes up to the EEG and have them visualize the same race. The same brain patterns were measured when the person was seated in a chair just visualizing the race. Our brain does not know the difference between what we see and what we think. What do you spend most of your time thinking about?

Ok, Ok I get it.. I need to change. But I don't know how.

Do you not see how powerful you are? You make your eyes the color they are, beat your heart, and digest your food all without any knowledge on how you do it. Every human wants one thing. Peace. However they can only understand what they are aware of. Why do you think addicts and people that hate are never content? Because they really seek peace but are so lost they cannot find it. When you look at a person don't see their physical body. That is temporary. It will someday die. See them as an infinite being with a wise spirit fighting to get their human on the right path :) Seems silly but it helps when dealing with the less likeable among us :)

What Can I Do?

1. Meditate.

Meditation can do a lot to put you on the right path far more that anything I have encountered. Stillness of the mind is like bliss. Until you experience it for yourself you cannot grasp how important this stillness is.

2. Forgive.

3. Stay curious and adventurous.

Make everyday, every person, and every task an exciting experience. We learn from our experiences. Seek out knowledge and share with others. To be happy is to be in growth. Find the good in everything. Live life everyday like it is your first day on earth. To seek knowledge is to be in a continuous state of growth. To settle and not seek knowledge stifles your personal and spiritual growth.

4. Learn to allow.

Allow others to be who they are. Allowing others to be will make you more patient and understanding of others. Allow people to give to you.

5. Love

Most important of all is to love all life. Love is the most powerful force in a child's development. Love can heal hearts and minds. To love is to grow. Love can change the world. Literally!


Samantha Leigh said…
Sister, you said a mouth full, you hit it out of the park.

Fear is definitely something our community soaks in. When my wife started looking into why her husband was desirous of wearing women’s clothes, she was assured by several well meaning people that if she did not have me start dressing Enfemme dire psychological consequences would occur. That I would, as I got older, become depressed and suicidal. Personally I some how don’t think I would have become suicidal if I did not wear women’s clothes. I am happier though for having done it.

There are reasonable concerns about how, when and to whom we may come out of the closet, but I believe most people’s fear exceed reality. I am not going to say that no marriage has ended over cross dressing, but any lengthy conversation that I have had has found other problems in the marriage ( or the CD went head long in directions the wife could not keep up with) with cross dressing being the last station passed by the runaway train headed over a cliff. If you have a healthy marriage you’ll survive.

You’ll get fired. How many of us have heard about the Winn Dixie employee? When all the hype and activists went away they got another job. A doctor at a local hospital had some difficulties transitioning, but when lawyers were called the hospital backed down. Some one I know at Mack Trucks ( Is there a more masculine image place than a Mack truck plant) has recently transitioned (name change a month ago). Some people had tacked copies of the public notice of name change to the trucks going down the assembly line. Although some people were a bit odd about it, Racheal found out she had some real friends. Human resources was wonderful about filling out the paper work. There were some questions about use of the ladies room, the company thought about setting up a separate bathroom but then decided that she should just use the ladies room. So far everything has been reasonable. Why don’t we all here about these positive stories?

I can vouch for religious problems, when it comes down to it though, the only thing that happened was my feelings getting hurt. Nobody has tried to kill me and I have found some people who were totally supportive. Third times a charm as they say. This time I’m out of the closet and very proactive. What they see Sunday morning is what they get, so far nobody has fainted, looked at me cross or gotten upset. The few people I have talked to so far have been pleasant conversations. That’s the beauty of America, there is a church on every other corner and if you don’t like one, you can just dress your best and try out another.

Fear is a negative form of believing. Everyone believes something, you can not ,”not believe”. When we realize what has influenced our personal system of beliefs we can seriously look at the validity of what we believe. We can actively choose to change what we believe. Four years ago I believed that cross dressing was wrong and that I had some kind of psychological problem. Now I am enjoying an open transgender life. I had to shed some guilt, shame, and fear that was part of my belief system. I had to learn enough to make new decisions about my life. Seek the most truthful and honest sources to gain an education.

If you are a self confident person, self actualized, you can be the beat that others synchronize with. When I was an officer in the army, I would tell people what to do and of course they did it. At a glance you may assume that the implied penalties play into why orders are obeyed. The real reason is habit and synchronicity. “Army of One” aside you are part of a team, work as a team and are in sync with the others in your team. What’s interesting though is that when I was out of the Army often I would tell people to do things and they would just do it, without really thinking about it. When you are confident and can speak and act with authority, people will synchronize with you. If you are full of fear, hesitation, and self doubt, you will march to the beat of someone else’s drum.

The world runs on negativity. Most of the news we see and hear in the media is bad news. If you go to the book store you will find a wide selection of self help books on positive thinking. Nobody needs to buy a book to learn how to think negatively. Have you ever noticed that a large number of people in third world nations who have no TV, radio or newspapers; live happy lives in what we might call squalor. So many people in our culture with a comparative degree of material comforts, are chronic complainers and malcontents. We can live very distracted lives, and many of those distractions are negative in content.

Our brain stores information in synaptic chains, a series of neurons. When familiar events occur, the brain starts firing off the chains. Unless you are consciously aware of what’s going on in your mind a whole series of thoughts and emotions, and if unchecked actions will occur. Something ever happen and you find yourself repeating a past mistake? Or a smell might send your mind to a happy or sad memory? You can not, not think about something, the old do not think about a hamburger experiment. You can replace old thoughts with new thoughts, you can renew your mind. When you find yourself heading in the direction of fear or negative thoughts you can catch yourself and actively think positive thoughts. With repetition the new synapse chains formed will replace the old memory chains as your default response.

Follow those five steps Alexis mentions, you can’t go wrong.

Peace and Love,
Samantha Leigh Rieth


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