Showing posts from April, 2008

Every Choice Has Its Price

Erik Erickson, a famous developmental psychologist, revealed that adolescents must first develop a sense of identity before they can learn to be intimate with others. In his view, we must first know and love ourselves before we can love another. Carol Gilligan took a stance contrary to Erickson’s view in that traditional adolescent females learn to be intimate before they develop their self-identities. Regardless of which comes first, it seems that to be complete, people need to have both identity and intimacy. A transgendered person can potentially gain self-identity at the cost of intimacy or vice versa. We have become aware of the pain of the transwoman who has lost family, friends, and loved ones upon successful transition. We are also familiar with the despair of the person who, for whatever reason, is not able to express her feminine gender except in the deep recesses of her mind or in the safety of her closet. Both of these extreme decisions have their costs and their benefits.…

The Tell Tale Heart

In our society today, it would be hard to find someone to argue the point that beauty will get you ahead in life. But does beauty quench your soul?

Reading Teri’s Blog and then engaging in a discussion in her comments section, reminded me of how I once mused out the window for days at a time, in deep thought about “all of this trans business”. The permanence of my thoughts brought me back to the same place each time: Creditability = Acceptance.

But this revelation was first misplaced - Like so many other TG people, I believed if I could pass, “LIFE WOULD BE WONDERFUL”! In the beginning this idea was reinforced, because I do in fact, pass for which I presented: A woman. I’m not a beauty queen, but I haven’t been mistaken for a disheveled gargoyle either.

With each person I “passed” with, my confidence soared, allowing me to ignore the stigmas of society and the laws of physics. Any thing in my mind was possible, because “I passed”.

What I miss understood, but eventually figured out, was th…