Ambigendering Aristotle

One of the eternally recurring themes for the ambigendered (sorry, my term. It is intended to replace "transvestite" or "crossdresser" and refers to those who desire to and are, to a greater or lesser degree, skilled at presenting themselves as the opposite gender), is the idea of "moving forward." We all experience frustration when we perceive that we are not progressing towards our goal, or worse, that further progress is not possible. And what is the goal of the ambigendered male: to occasionally experience femininity as fully and completely as possible.

Let me make an argument which was recently inspired by reviewing Aristotelian philosophy.The first premise is that our desired goal is impossible to reach. We transsomethings, by definition, cannot fully experience life as a woman. Certainly, we can attain some level of feminine experiences with varying degrees of success (and indeed those varying levels of success often cause frustration for many).

Moreover, we tend to equate success in presenting ourselves in feminine mode with happiness and to societal acceptance both within the community and without. This objective simply doesn’t seem to be borne out by experience: most of us, even the most accomplished TG or event the post-op TS, doesn’t seem to derive total fulfillment from her success—at least not for very long—in pursuit or achievement of this goal. Hence, it seems we are pursuing an objective that constantly moves the further we progress.

Now here is where Aristotle offers us two worthwhile suggestions: that fulfillment is only possible when a goal is obtainable and that physical goals, even if attained, rarely bring sustainable happiness. Therefore, by seeking complete femininization (or complete femininity, if you prefer), we are fated to fail because that is physically impossible except for a select few.

Moreover, feminization, is a physical goal and pursuing (or even achieving) physical goals rarely, if ever, brings real happiness. What it seems to me that we ambigendered souls are seeking is actually acceptance of ourselves as ambigendered. That is indeed an obtainable goal, and a psychological/spiritual one of the sort that most (including Aristotle) would agree can indeed bring happiness. And if we make acceptance our objective, then our pursuit of femininity becomes a means and not an end.

What I mean is that by pursuing our ambigendered interests with the aid and support of friends we can indeed find acceptance from them. By exploring our own femininity and coming to terms with it and understanding it better we can find acceptance of ourselves. And by coming to terms with ourselves and becoming more comfortable with who we are, and becoming more knowledgeable about what we are and why we are, we have laid the foundation to pursue acceptance from those who are not ambigendered.

So what am I saying here? Too often we confuse the means and ends. We believe that feminization, whether permanently or temporarily, is the end. In reality the focus for us ought to be on seeking and giving acceptance from those like us because that is a goal that is both attainable and one that gives what we really crave—psychological/spiritual satisfaction.

To phrase it more simply, view the expression of your femininity not as the goal, but as a means to form relationships with like minded individuals who can help you to achieve your true objectives: support, understanding, fulfillment, tolerance, etc. All I’m saying is that the ambigendered pursuit of femininity can only bring psychological and spiritual satisfaction by viewing it as an ongoing journey best enjoyed in the company of friends. And that sometimes the answers are found by looking behind us, around us and within us instead of only looking ahead of us.