Lessons Learned

My reflection lied to you, you could not see or acknowledge my pain.

You failed to catch so many tears… Now I leave you behind, never to return.
… am I fool?

There is no replacing your losses and I can’t understand the reason I continue to try? A wounded dove, poised to fly - your tears fall silent, as if never shed at all.

I have learned nothing, except how to hurt you more… you weep...

“What is the lesson to learn”?

Whether it was to praise my photos, blogs, ideas or to set me straight when I got so full of myself, so many of you have helped me when I needed it, -AND- more importantly, when I didn’t think I needed.

Here are some of the biggest Lessons I have learned:
  • I am not the Transgender Messiah (Thanks JamieGottaGun)
  • I am not re-inventing the wheel. (Thanks Gloria Fenton)
  • Transition is NOT “All about me”. (Thanks Karissa Marrie)
  • Never make anyone a priority that has only made me an option. (inspiration of thought thanks to Joe Solmonese of HRC)
  • Just because someone is Transgender, doesn’t mean they HAVE to like me. (Thanks Diane Frank)
  • We are all in this together, but on different paths with different goals and expectations. (Thanks Melissa Pink)
  • Jealousy is our community’s biggest enemy – I am no exception to this. (Observation)
  • I am part of a fabric bigger than myself – respect and represent that with dignity for all. (Thanks Cat Turner)
  • Second chances at a first impression can be changed. (Thanks Jessica Lee and Regan)
  • The measure of my gender is not in my reflection. (Thanks Leigh Smythe)
  • It is ok to error - it is unforgivable to not forgive. (Thanks Wendy Kahr)
  • Changing perceptions and expounding your mind is part of the process. (Thanks Kristin Reichman)
  • Enjoy the “early days” and experiment and just be you - revel in the photos later. (Thanks Marsha Clark)
  • There REALLY IS no “I” in team. (Thanks Debbie Dunkle)
  • All the Blogs and photos I post, with that and $1.50, I can get a bus ride to down town – remember your priorities. (Thanks Glenda)
  • Wait 24 hours before clicking the “Send” button. (Thank Melissa Sheridan)
  • Feelings have no gender, only truth to their existence, or not. (Thanks Adarabeth Veau)
  • Even though my wife doesn’t appear to have a husband, my children have a Daddy no matter what I look like or people say. (Thanks Laura-Natalie)
  • Being the first to say sorry, doesn’t mean your wrong – it makes you guilty of doing right. (Thanks Dawn Votro)
  • When I think “Why me?”, I should think “Why NOT me!” (Thanks Lacey Kelly)
  • Coordinate efforts! You don’t have to ALWAYS look your best every time you go somewhere – You can hurt people’s feelings and make them feel under dressed and or bad about themselves instead of having a good time with you. (Thanks Natalie and Sarah)
  • Express an opinion ONLY when asked – and then, be kind if you do. (Sorry Annie)
  • Support others efforts. The spotlight doesn’t always have to be about Chloe. {sigh}
  • I am free to define who I am –so too are others free to think what they will. (Thanks Monique Monet)
  • A size Large is always a Small. A size Small is only a demo for the manikin. (Observation)
  • Say what you feel, not what you mean. ((Observation of the heart)
  • Some of the greatest women I have ever known are physically men. (Observation)
  • You can never really fail; only delay your success. (Observation)
  • There is no substitute like the real thing (Thank you Marla for being such a great supporter of our community)
  • Anger is a cry for help… extending a handkerchief can build a bridge. (eh Jasmine?)
  • Words having no meaning with out the effort behind the pen. (You are still my Hero Barbara!)
  • You can’t transition on the Internet. (Unknown, but so true…)
  • Guitar Hero and Rock Band REALLY DO help pass the time. (Thanks Nicole and Glenda Paris)
  • Hobbies are important – except when you have made that hobby yourself. (Observation)
  • There really IS happiness on the other side... (Thanks Lori McNeal)
  • Angels walk and even fly among us if you are willing to see them. (Thanks Denny)
  • Family, Mom’s & Dad’s aren’t just the ones your born with. (Thanks Steve and Carol, Cheryl & John and Barbara & Ken)
  • Finally, “GET OVER YOURSELF”! Really! (Thanks to many on this one, especially too Melissa Sheridan, JamieGottaGun, Glenda, Marsha, Kelly McDonald, Teri, Lori_D and Karissa Marie.)

It astounds me how much my attitude has changed. When I began this journey, I had no idea why it started, what I wanted out of it and where it would lead me…

Yet, I can honestly say “why”, “what” & “where” this journey will lead me and is all about now.

It’s about growing up…

Transition has come to mean so much more than just physical completion; It has come to be about the final alignment that will catapult me into a new way of life and a new found level of confidence ... in short, my transition is about maturity…

…the rest is just window dressing.


Stacie said…
Hi Chloe;

Boy its been a long time since I visited here or posted anything. Thank you for your wonderful observations. Well written and well said. Your observations are simple but so true; and that's the way it is with most things in life. It's just that we tend to over complicate everything, allowing our emotions and others to influence our decisions and actions when what we need to do is be true to ourselves - assuming we've taken the time to figure ourselves out first. Maturity starts from within, but if you think you are mature, you probably are not.
Avery Hester said…
Amen! Thanx for your blog. You are right "Moms and Dads aren't just the ones you are born with"!




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