Why Do I Love Transwomen?

Because I am a natural born woman, I have been asked on more occasions than I can count, "why" do I care about transgender issues and "why" do I have so many friends in the online trans community, since I myself am not trans? I was born female, so "why" am I here online representing and supporting transgender women? My reasons are a combination of personal, social and spiritual. I'd like to write a little more about each of these areas, then expand in future blogs based on your interests.

Personal Reasons…

On a personal level, I am bisexual femme top so none other suits me as well as a bi-gendered male-to-female (M2F) transwoman. No other type of potential love partner is more attractive to me, particularly those who are comfortable with both sides of their gender.

For a male crossdressing en femme, it is often erotic, sensual and sexual, yet it goes even deeper because dressing allows his inner feminine to emerge from the heart of a man, invoking a feeling of relief and joy as she is able to breathe through her true self. To observe, participate, facilitate this emotional healing is blissful to me, satisfying and fulfilling beyond measure.

All my romantic/sexual inclinations are for M2F trans of all degrees from crossdresser, femboi, transvestite, bi-gendered, transgendered, transsexual – all males who respectfully cross the gender line are so beautiful in my eyes. Someone who can switch between male and female, or who embodies both at one time, is the ideal match for a bisexual woman like me. This intense attraction is the magnet that keeps me transfixed, despite that I myself am not trans, the love of my life certainly will be.

Social Reasons…

On a social level, it is from a strong feminist perspective that I support transwomen. I am someone who believes that feminine is of equal value to masculine, and it is healthy and normal for females to be masculine, or males to be feminine. Because I am a feminist, I admire the ideals of femininity, so it makes perfect sense to me that many humans aspire to the feminine, no matter whether they are anatomically female or male.

Society has a deep-seated underlying disregard for the feminine, which is why women and transwomen are not treated as equals to men. The gender imbalance is a social problem which has existed for millenniums. All feminine people, genetic women and transwomen, are on the same side of the movement toward true gender equality.

As a feminist, I love and revere the feminine, so I hold in most special regard those born male who have the strength to be feminine in this harsh and cruel world. Males who possess such an inner goddess essence that they choose to cross the gender divide and become one of us, are the ultimate feminists in my book. I urge all women, all feminists, to recognize and embrace transgender women as our true sisters.

Spiritual Reasons…

From a spiritual perspective, I believe the human soul is genderless. I believe our Higher Power is genderless. It is only in physical earthly form that we are bound to vessels which are gendered. In our angelic forms, we have the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of both feminine and masculine, in perfect balance and harmony.

I believe it is evolutionary for humans to transcend societal bondage of stereotypical polarities, in particular the illusion of binary gender. As we evolve as human beings, we get closer to our angelic forms, we find a growing inner knowing of both masculinity and femininity. People who cross the human-made gender construct are only following a natural course of soul evolution.

We as human beings are not meant to be caged by the artificial duality we have created for ourselves. The time has come to transcend the illusion and ascend into our most beautiful selves.

What Do You Think?

So you see, I have a number of reasons for loving transwomen. I could write so much more if you are interested. I would like to hear from you. Along which of these lines – personal, social or spiritual - should I expand? Has anything I've said inspired you, and how? Do you have comments, questions or requests?


Stacie said…
Michele, ever since you burst onto the scene a few years ago, you always seemed to have a clearer sense of who you are (natural born women) and what you like (transwomen) than I, who despite all my years, as still confused. Externally male, I've reached a point in my life where I feel I'm a transwomen who loves other transwomen.

I realized at an early age that I was different, but didn't know what to think/do. Growing up in an all boy family, I wanted to be a girl, and play with the girls. When puberty set in, my body reacted to the hormones, but truly I wasn't particularly interested in boys or girls. As a young male full of testosterone, I sowed my oaks, but always felt something was missing.

While my wife knew Stacie and accepted her before we were married, I don't think neither one of us realized what we were getting into. Also back then, I was in the military, and this was way before the don't ask, don't ask policy we have today, so having a wife was very good camouflage for anyone who was not 100% heterosexual. Anyway, while she thought I was a simple crossdresser when we first got married, I had my doubts. I told her I might be gay, but at that time, I had never had a gay encounter so I wasn't sure. Over the years, as I evolved into who I am today, I found myself less interested in women sexually (much to my wife's dismay), yet not that interested in men either. However, having been married for 25+ years, raised a family & having grandkids; I am not ready/willing to risk everything to be what I feel I am.

When I went out as Stacie, I didn't find men as interesting as they found me. It was only when I was around other transwomen, that I felt aroused and excited. Unfortunately, most of the transwomen I've met so far seem to either be interested in men, or natural born women. So I'm not only an ethnic minority, but a sexual minority among sexual minorities - definitely not heterosexual, but not really gay, bi-sexual, or a lesbian either.

As to why I might love transwomen over natural born men or women, I want someone who could be my equal. In very simple and traditional terms, I think most natural born men would tend to assume the dominate role in a relationship and despite being trans, the male part of my psych who not accept that. At the same time, because of being trans, I have no interest in dominating a relationship, not would I want a tradition women who would subjugate herself to a male. For the most part, that only leaves other transwomen, except most of the ones I've met seem to want to be with men, or GGs. I rule out F2M transmen because I still love femininity which someone who is F2M probably has absolute no interest in. In the meantime, I live in limbo, venturing out as Stacie whenever I can, occasionally having a fling, but like Count Dracula, rushing home before the sun rises.

In my youth, the grass was always greener on the other side. In my maturity, I've developed a higher pain threshold, so I'm more inclined to stay in the frying pan. Wanting, yet not wanting a relationship with another transwomen because I'm not willing to risk my what I already have for what might be. The heat from the frying pan is less painful that the agony of losing my family. Perhaps what I need is something akin to what Denise and Brad have in one of my favorite shows - Boston Legal - transfriends with benefits.
Rachel said…
For me.., what you expressed so beautifully, is truly the Pinnacle belief of the Goddess, of the Divine Feminine. I totally love you for what you have written, for what you have shared. If you haven't written a book, then you very well should. You expressed the truth as "I see it", in re: to understanding the wonderful, spiritual nature of individuals trans-gendering from m to f, demonstrating the grace of the Goddess as she influences all who seek her beautiful and blissful way. Thankyou for sharing your insight, blessings Rachel
Anonymous said…
That has to be the most loving and passionately worded explanation I've ever heard from a GG woman in their view of why they love transwomen:=) It was sooo honest and open and well thought out and said soooo much and I could'nt agree with You more on sooo many points. I loved your explanation!!! I know you need not MY acceptance of it; but wanted to let you know somehow how much a woman like You are truly appreciated, and I thought it was a darling entry. Too bad a lot of people no matter their gender, can't & could'nt be more open in their feelings and thoughts or sincereity:=)

My best to you always....Stell
Tam Timmorlane said…
You give me hope, Michele. I haven't found a woman, trans or otherwise that has shown more than a passing interest in me, but I see that they are out there. I am a late emerging transwoman, right at the beginning of my transitional journey. I thought at first I'd be more gender ambiguous but April, my female self, is coming out like an express train. Though I do not feel trapped in the wrong body, I do feel more and more that I WANT a more female body. Where I'll stop, I'm not certain. I have personal reservations about SRS beyond the issues of pain, risk, and expense, and while I feel they're legitimate, they may also be the last gasp of an overwhelmed male self. We'll see. Like Stacie, men seem more interested in me than I am with them, though I'm finding the man who is interested in me usually seems very polite, well-manered, and highly intelligent. April seems much more willing to try being bisexuality than I was as a male, at least with the right partner. I still want women as lovers though; either women born, or transwomen; and for whatever reason, they seem much harder to come by right now. I am poly, with a preference for more than one lover in my bed at a time, preferably with one of each gender. I am a bottom primarily, but am called upon to switch more often than not. I call myself a 'girl' in the BDSM sense, but also because at this stage, in a very real way, I feel prepubescent: no breasts yet, still with the original genitals. Though I've focused on the sexual aspects of my transgenderism in this response, I'm also highly spiritual and am intrigued by the meaning you find in the Transwoman condition. I found this particular entry by accident (?), and look forward to reading many more of your thoughts. I'm not currently blogging but welcome any responses from you or others here.

With warmest regards,
Anonymous said…
I agree with you, and there are both men and women that find transwomen beautiful. There are some beautiful, lovely transgendered women
I am a man who was married to a woman, fathered four children with her. After we divorced, I met a very beautiful transgendered woman.

When she first told me she had been born a male, I didn't believe her, she looked much too feminine, more gorgeous and feminine than most women. But it turns out it was true, and she was still pre-op.

She later became post-op, and I paid for it. We get along well, and we live these days as husband and wife. She is wonderful.
Anonymous said…
Insightful blog post. If only more people thought like you do.
Kelly Macdonald said…
Hey girl,

Thank you for such a wonderfully expressive site ~ you write eloquently,candidly and with passion ~ way to go. I'm a happy,sorted,sassy,bright,articulate post~op woman from Scotland.

Bless & Smiles, Kelly xx
Leece said…
its so nice to see there are women out there that except us and its nice to see there is this site.
its just a pitty australian girls are not as excepting.
well done on this site.

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