Posts

Showing posts from 2009

WOW 2009.... You shocked the heck out of me..

There was no way I saw this coming. I started 2009 with same level of frustration and discomfort as any of my prior years since acknowledging and accepting myself. Each year started without any reasonable expectation that better things would come to pass. I have since come to understand that as hopeless, that lacking of. Not hopeless as in unemployed, homeless, struggling with addiction issues and no direction. Although to some extent I had all of those. No, I just lack hope that there really was a solution to what ailed me. Many thoughts have been expressed about transsexualism and gender identity issues over the years. I am not going into them here except to say that I know exactly who I am, I just didn't know why. I was trying to use the "why" to explain to others my situation. This year has shown me that is not important. What is important is not what has happened to me over my life, yet how I respond to it. I was born exactly as I was supposed to, my sense of ge…

Trannier Than Thou?

I've been online sharing quality time with so many beautiful transladies, on and off since 2005. There's one thing that I have observed time and again, which seems to play a big factor for many of you. It seems like a lot of people in this community ascribe to some kind of trans-heirarchy, where it is deemed that those who are "more trans" are somehow better than those who are "less trans"... does this ring a bell for any of you?

It's like, full-time female is regarded higher than part-time female. Or the more surgeries, is some kind of merit badge compared to those who are non-op. Or the more passable transladies, are somehow better than the less passable... and I am sad to see that some of you even form little cliques around this notion. Some of you try to exclude others who don't live up to your standards of transness. Do you not realize you are all just varying degrees along the same spectrum?

I recently invited a few new members to Gende…

500 Channels

Image
With all the things I’ve come to believe about my existence and life manifestation I’m always wondering about nurture, nature and channeling past experiences especially towards my feminine expression.

There have been several studies on the propensities of 1st or 3rd sons being gay or gender variant (I’m a 3rd). I do know that after 2 boys my mother was hoping like crazy for a daughter. I can only imagine what all that mental energy might do to a gestating child.

After I was born I remember her using a feminized version of my middle name as a “pet name” (Willamina). I think that further indicates her desire for a daughter at that time. She did get that daughter on the next and fourth try and I was expected to be the little “man” after that.

When I was about 3 I also remember announcing to the whole family that “I wanted to be a girl named “Mary”. I was soundly shamed by my two older brothers and never spoke of it again though I did get caught about the same age after I looted the nei…

Is Gender Still Evolving?

Image
After having been extremely active in the online transgender community for a couple of years as the hostess and facilitator of http://www.genderevolve.com/ and genderevolve.blogspot.com , I decided to go offline for awhile to pursue my career. Words cannot express how much I missed you during this time, yet I had to stay very focused to accomplish some of my life goals.
Now that I have achieved a new level of balance in my daily life, I have decided to venture back online and see how you beautiful transladies have been making out this past while. I sense there have been changes in the t-community, there are a lot of new faces, and some very cool new websites too. Yet it seems not everything has changed and there is stability in our online community, as most of my friends are still online and all our favorite sites are still online. It it a welcome relief to find that there is always a place to come home to, no matter how far on different paths our journies take us, we can always retur…

Pardon me, may I have the last 30 minutes of my life?

I would like to thank OpenLetterstoKRXQ.wordpress.com for posting the podcast of The Rob, Arnie and Dawn show on KRXQ in Sacramento. I was reading all sorts of complaints about one of their shows in which Rob and Arnie were suggesting violence to children who express gender identity disorder and had not hear it myself. Thank you. Now,

Who do I see to get back the last 30 minutes of my life?

I listened to the segment, all 36 minutes of it and first of all. I need to say this. Rob and Arnie's positions on GID, while inaccurate, should not be construed as hate speech, nor should their right to express it be hindered. Their advocation that violence, or physical discipline is the solution is borderline criminal. Their intolerance for fellow host Dawn was atrocious, vile, disrespectful and adolescent. The radio station, its advertisers, and audience possess all the power necessary to regulate their comments.

I agree with very little of what was stated during that 36 minute discourse on con…