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Showing posts from 2005

Why Dress Up and Go Out?

(by Felicia Conti) Someone recently asked the question as to why transgendered women like to dress up to the 9's to go out on the town. Here is my attempt to answer that question from my vantage point. Can you imagine having a magic wand and waiving it and entering through a port hole into a whole other existence that is filled with enchantment, glamour, excitement, and admiration from others? Women are such lovely creatures especially when they dress up and amplify their physical attributes. Honestly, I am envious and admiring of my true female sisters for they have been gifted with subtle influences that go beyond the obvious power of domination that males possess. For me, going out enfem has to do with attaching to the power of the experience, to have a piece of that magic that women possess through their feminine beauty and charms, to morph into a higher essence.

Katharine Hepburn

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(by Jenna Taylor) “Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get--only what you are expecting to give--which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving.” – Katharine Hepburn Katharine Hepburn will long be remembered as Hollywood’s greatest actress. Although many people will not remember she led a rich and interesting life. She was an immensely complicated, intelligent, and driven individual. Additionally, she was the Antichrist. The daughter of her urologist doctor father Thomas Norval Hepburn and suffragette namesake mother Katharine Houghton, Katharine was an athletic tomboy as a child, and was very shy around girls her age. She was largely schooled at home. She did attend Bryn Mawr College, however, and it was here that she decided to become an actress, appearing in many of their productions. After graduating, she went on to perform in several plays on and off

M2F2M

(by Annette Brunette) As I flip through all the pictures from my transgender photo albums dating back from 1995, I sometimes wonder where everyone went. "Where are they now?" my mind seems to be saying. Some of the ladies have gotten married and have kids. Others, divorced. Some have seemingly vanished from the community only to reappear again, years later, down the road. A small number of gals are/were in the process of transitioning. Some of them lead successful lives as post-ops. Others are struggling. Alcoholism. Divorce. Job termination. As an outsider looking in, I believe the hardest time for the post-op transsexual is between year one and year two. Some of the novelty of being a woman has worn off. Gals who in past years received sterling performance reviews suddenly get fired. Did they forget how to do their jobs? I think not. It's not all gloom and doom, however. I know at least two couples who, even after surgery, remain happily married. I first met Kimmy at th

The Change We Wish To See

Article resposted from www.laceyleigh.com . The Change We Wish To See By Lacey Leigh, June 3, 2004 One of the more common threads of conversation among crossdressers (CDs) centers around a quest for the reason behind crossdressing. Some speculate about hard science; prenatal "hormone wash" theories, hippocampus or corpus callosum brain structure, and XY-XXY-XX alphabet soup genetics. Others embrace soft science; childhood environmental factors, absent fathers, and withheld affection as the root cause. One individual has even suggested a nutritional precursor, citing infant consumption of cheddar cheese! As amateur psychiatrists, geneticists, and behaviorists, CDs argue their pet theories with a certain emotional investment. They are seeking an explanation, a reason, or a cause for that which has so negatively impacted their lives. Some pursue a sort of cultural forgiveness; a way of proclaiming, "Don't blame me, it's not my fault. I was born (shaped, influenced)

For the Love of Dressing

(by Michele Angelique) One thing we all have in common is our love of feminine dressing. I’d like to share my own girl-woman evolution, and explain how dressing has impacted me. I understand completely why you need this feeling because I need it too. I may well need it so much as to be unhealthy. Yet I’m genetically female, so my excessive dressing habits are “normal”. Upon close introspection, I realize my obsessive compulsive feminine dressing energy was a large factor that drew me to the transgender community. From you I gain a sense of equilibrium and balance. Interacting with you allows me to refocus my energy less on my own dressing and onto yours. We have this common ground, and it’s so comforting to me. With my love of feminine dressing, I know that if I’d have been born male I would be a t-girl. The joy of feminine dressing runs deep for me. I’ve always been a girly-girl. As a little girl I loved doing fun girlstuff like playing “dolls” or “house” or “dressup”. Every day I wou

Out of the Closet... into ... life

~ Written by Adarabeth Veau This message was developed for those individuals who have not ventured from their world of secrecy because of shame or guilt, not so much for those that have faced their fears and walk more confidently, whatever their journey may be. It is a brief synopsis of contributing factors to my own level of spirit and in no way is intended to pull someone kicking and screaming into something they do not dream about... For me, I have a dream ... it is of a place called anywhere... "Haven't you wanted to be free my dear? I can't keep pretending you don't exist... that I don't know you. You do, in my mind, in my heart, in my reality ever time I look in the mirror... Come... take my hand... I will take you there... We will leave tonight… there's no need to tell anyone, they will only hold us down... so by the morning light we will be halfway there, halfway to anywhere, a place where you and I can be – however, whoever – without shame or guilt, wi

The Biology of Belief

(by Stacie Ku) Just read an interesting article in today’s (Nov 14, 2005) San Francisco Chronicle about a new book "The Biology of Belief” (http://tinyurl.com/bsdu7) which triggered this train of thought. It is the author’s belief that our beliefs, not our DNA control our biology. Taking that premise to the extreme, might it be possible someday for someone to change gender simply by thinking about it; to change that little chromosome back to xx or xy?? Gender (external biology) and femininity/masculinity (internal psych) are not the same. Western society says our external dictates our internal, so doctors have been known to surgically chose a baby's gender when a baby is born with dual sex organs, or say a baby was a girl when it was really a baby boy with undescended testicles. The baby is then raised consistent with their external gender. We are in this group because regardless of our physical gender, we are different inside. Could the simplified cause of transgenderism be t

11:11 on 11/11 of 11

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(by Michele Angelique) It is the 11th moment of the 11th hour, on the 11th day of the 11th month, and 11 11 2005 sums numerologically to 11… {1+1+1+1+2+0+0+5}. Therefore, this moment is 11:11 on 11/11 of 11. It is time to talk about the number 11. At 11 a.m. on November 11, 1918, the "eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month” the Armistice Treaty officially ended World War I. There is great significance in this day, and also in the number 11. A master number, the number 1.11111111 squared = 1.2345678987654321. One encompasses all other numbers, a fact which is mathematically significant. The number 11 carries the vibration of evolution, not only in commemorating peaceful resolutions to wars, but through powerful new wisdom brought forth by the New Age movement. Today is an appropriate time to open another new door between the Transgender and New Age communities. I have previously referred to the Kryon information of the Venus Transit gift. I will now confer about S

Beast and the beauty

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(by Marlena Dahlstrom) In "My Husband Betty," Helen Boyd points out that sometimes the reasons behind crossdressing are straightforward: we want to look pretty. That's certainly true in my case. Wanting to look good and feel sexy at a time growing up when male beauty wasn't openly acknowledged and "pretty boy" was (and still is) an insult made that difficult do en homme. And yet, like most women I suspect, I've always had an ambivalent attitude toward my appearance. A bit of history. I was a latent metrosexual long before the term was coined. But I always wanted to be stylish but in high school, I was a bit scrawny and unstylish - think "Daria" but more out of a less of skill than ironic intent. After escaping high school hell, college was a change to reinvent myself. I worked out, I buffed up - not out a desire to butch myself out of crossdressing, but a desire to look good. Once a girl picked me up saying she liked my pecs and for that I migh

Can the Gloves Come Off ?

(by Alexis Rene Jones) So I was going through some profiles on urna the other evening and stumbled across a familiar looking & absolutely stunning girl ! I mean if this is the height of where transition can go....Sign me up ASAP ! Am only teasing but yes she is that gorgeous .... Anyway this girl has been a staple in the much talked about ratings at urna for a long while. She still has the same pic up as when Iarrived to the site in Dec. '04 ... Almost a year now. Long story short I wrote this said girl twice over a three month period, Two very sweet letters not really asking for anything other than to pay her a genuine compliment or two and I heard nothing back from either . I guess my writing wasn't ( Still isn't? ) up to par ... So with this in mind I decided not to waste anymore time with it(her);). The following month I noticed again she was right at the top of the ratings system and also noticed she had yahoo messenger so I thought....Why not pop in and tell her s

Feminine Influences

(by Felicia Conti) "The person(s) in my life who most influenced or most helped me with the development of my feminine side is......................" The person in my life who most influenced the development of my feminine side was probably my mother. She was an amateur actress who played the leading lady parts in a number of plays. I remember sitting in the theatre as a young boy when this steamy woman would walk out on stage and everyone would be entranced by her beauty. Was this the same woman who I called “mom” and who only hours before had been preparing my dinner? I remember trying on her clothes and wondering if I would ever be transformed from what I considered to be “ordinary” to “special”? Second in line, was probably my sister who developed at a fairly young age into a real beauty. She had lots of cute girlfriends and lots of guys calling on her constantly. She also had lots of clothes that fit me. Maybe I could learn to be beautiful too? I think that I learned som

Who's really passing?

(by Marlena Dahlstrom) Ran across a striking re-thinking of the "passing" issue by Lacey Leigh, author of "The Successful Crossdresser." Lacey points out that despite what we'd like to think, few of us will be mistaken for GGs. If we're not read, it's more that people either don't notice or don't care. Consequently: "I measure my success as a crossdresser by the number of people I encounter who (if they bother to notice at all) recognize me as a man in a dress but regard me with the same degree of indifference they award any other stranger. If they treat me the same as everyone else, they pass." Seems like the right attitude to me. Darla

Revelation… Maturation… Evolution

(by Adarabeth Veau) Joining Gender Evolve was a big step for me… as a student of life – an experience junkie, especially the high adrenaline kind – I used to think I really had it all together. But I knew there was one major element that was missing. Adara. Her development. Her validation. Her impact and her yearnings to be known. And now I know why. My earliest recollection of Adara started before she even had a name. At five she was trying out her mothers lipsticks and other `pretty' things to see how they looked, to see how they felt. Always in secret though – with tough brothers and a heavy fisted father she was not going to get caught doing something `unmanly'. By 12 I was buying my own lipsticks and clothes. And occasionally I would get caught but somehow managed to avoid a beating… at least most of the time. By 20, Adara wanted more and more to be noticed so she eventually made it out to the public eye… but still appeared the saucy adolescent. Now she is reaching a highe

Am I destined to be alone forever?

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(by Jenna Taylor) Every now and then I ponder the meaning of my existence. Now, this sounds all philosophical and heady, yet it’s simple nothing more than, "Will I spend the rest of my live alone?" I tell myself "I don't want to live by myself!" and until last night, I was looking at it the wrong way. For you see, what I was saying to myself was, “I don't want to live with YOU", meaning ME! And if this was actually true, then, did I need fixing'? I mean, can I be ready for someone else if I'm not ready for me? The last 8-10 months of my sentence on this planet have involved some pretty in-depth examinations of my past, my present, and my future. Though these "probes" to the center of my soul have been ongoing for several years, before now they were very superficial. Never before had I "taken a hard look in the mirror". Like most crossdressers, it’s a quick passing glance on my way somewhere or just a reflection in another obj

Misogyny Makes The Man

(by Marisa) She’s on the parade ground, hearing “Listen Up, Ladies!” She’s on the playground, where she “throws like a girl.” She’s in the bathroom, taking “longer to get ready than I do.” Her name is Nancy, or maybe it’s Sissy (most any name ending in the “si” sound will do). She answers to Gay—but it’s an alias. Though rarely seen to “wear a dress” or “put ribbons in her hair” it’s frequently suggested that she ought to. This girl is a whirlwind! She’s everywhere; everywhere that legs are crossed just so, everywhere nails are examined the “wrong” way, everywhere appreciation of romantic comedy is expressed (indeed, where appreciation of anything is expressed with a bit toooo much enthusiasm). It’s a wonder she has the energy to flit about so; subsisting—as she does—on a diet of salads, quiche, and “girly drinks.” She’s weak. She’s timid. She’s vain, fussy, fickle and teary-eyed. In short, she’s despicable, and utterly lacking in all traditional manly “virtues.” Who is she? Nobody rea

Our Family Bond

(by Michele Angelique) Over the past several months since starting GenderEvolve we have bonded, both as a group and individually. In addition to sharing friendship and trust, we have walked alongside one another’s personal journeys. Each of us has evolved as a result. Through this process of sharing thoughts and experiences, light is being shed where there was none before. We are collectively finding the words to define ourselves, our identities and our values. Through this unification of purpose and collective vision, we are working toward common goals. I feel our collective voice can only grow stronger every day. The work we are doing here at GenderEvolve is very special indeed… dare I say, evolutionary? Since the beginning, I have felt connected to you. Our interactions have been enlightening, uplifting, quite often profound, intense and almost always very candid. Whether by virtual presence or in person, the connections among us have deepened to a degree where the only fitting desc

Is this you?

(by Marlena Dahlstrom) I ran across this article (don't worry it's short) that argues cross-dressers typically share the following traits: Intelligent Creating and making things Intellectual Curiosity and Eclecticism Collectors/Hobbyists/Tinkerers Perfectionism Dreamers/Enjoy flights of fancy Loners (although I suspect this varies depending on how introverted/extroverted you are) which the author, a CD herself, argues typically has made CDs feel "different" from others and a bit of an outsider even before they put on the dress. It was freakily accurate in describing me. So I posted it as a poll over a Crossdressers.com where the (admittedly self-selected and unscientific) concensus is that it descibes people very well to generally well -- no one so far has thought it didn't really describe them. Interesting one FTM CD also thought it described extremely well, so we're going to post the poll in the FTM section to see if there's similar results. So what do

We are our own worse enemies

(by Marlena Dahlstrom) Good news and bad news.... The good news is that a would-be novelist joined one of the online forums I belong to in order to do researching on cross-dressing for a novel where the protagonist happens to be a crossdresser -- someone who was fired when he was outed, but who has the huevos to stay in town and carry on with his life. The writer, call him Philip, was open about his intentions, when it would have been really easy to fake a profile and present himself as a newbie. He doesn't make crossdressing the centerpiece, rather just an interesting aspect of the protagonist (the focus will be on the character's professional life, and he just happens to cross-dress). Philip had a few misperceptions, which we corrected, and seems genuinely interested and respectful. In fact, he said he's rewriting some things in light what he now understands. We did let him know that a crossdresser who's out like that is pretty atypical (although Lacey Leigh was recen

The Venus Transit Gift

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(by Michele Angelique) Last night I had an epiphany. I now understand "why". I will show you what I discovered, but first I must give you some background on where I am coming from in a spiritual sense. I have always been a deeply spiritual person, never in the organized religion realm, but just in always "knowing" we are all here for a grand and magnificent purpose. My spiritual training began in my early childhood, around the age of 4-5. Although I was baptized Roman Catholic at the insistence of my grandparents, my parents were hippies, and thus were explorers of many belief systems outside the Christian/Catholic realm. We never practiced any form of ceremonial religion, it was always more in-depth discussions and pondering among ourselves. My early spirituality was more based on Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Paganism and Metaphysics. Our spirituality never had a "label", my parents just borrowed from various schools of thought and applied them to our dail

Gender Burnout

(by Annette Brunette) Hello to all you lovely ladies, I thought I'd write a personalized little thingy about my own journey through the gender world. Many excellent posts have been written about Gender Euphoria and the need to maintain balance in our lives and I don't have much to add to them at the moment. I, too, went through my own period of euphoria lasting from 1995 til roughly 2004. Lately, though, the gender world has been a flat line and I've been feeling apathetic about the whole thing. So I'm writing from a different perspective, that of a burnt out CD. I still go out from time to time. But I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. Burnout? Or maybe it's a gender midlife crisis. I looked in my closet the other day and stared at all my dresses. Shocking but apart from a Pagan transgender wedding that I had attended a few weeks ago (as "space girl") I hadn't worn a dress since January, the annual "First Event" TG convention in Massa